New Year's Eve
Choosing a date
The evening started with this Craigslist ad (censored personal details in italics):
It is midnight somewhere, so kiss me now!!!! - 44 (In your arms)
Reply to: pers-xxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-12-31, 2:39PM PST
I would love to be in a warm embrace and a sensual kiss right now. I can wait until midnight, but maybe we should get started kindling the fire before them.
I am a extremely, passionate, sensual, successful, secure, confident, classy, sexy, voluptuous woman. I prefer an educated, professional, tall middle aged man with a high sex drive.
Send me a note, include a pic and make me an offer I can't refuse!! LOL You'll be a very happy man!!!
I don't really feel like I'm "middle-aged", but the request for high sex drive sounded tempting, and the ad's category suggested that she lived close by. I gave it a shot:
Date: Wed, 31 Dec 2008 16:57:00 -0800 (PST)
From: [my e-mail address]
Subject: New Year's Eve
To: pers-xxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org
If you haven't found a your date for tonight, I'm curious. [I included a sentence describing my profession.]
I'm near your age, six feet tall, slender-athletic build (about xxx pounds), blue eyes, brown hair, and nice legs. [I included a comment about the picture I attached.[
I'm clean in the ways that matter: I don't have any diseases, I don't abuse drugs, I don't smoke, I drink lightly and infrequently, and I practice good hygiene. If my high sex drive gets put to use, condoms are a common sense necessity.
[I quoted her ad text, which helps avoid confusion if I've replied a bunch of ads.]
[I included a waist-up picture of myself, smiling and tastefully dressed.]
While I awaited a reply, I looked at other ads. I found one that looked like someone I had communicated with before. (I didn't keep a copy of her ad.) She had been interested, and would clearly be good conversation, but we hadn't made any plans for practical reasons and because she didn't seem to be my type in terms of looks. Rather than replying her ad through the Craigslist re-mailer address, I wrote directly to her e-mail address:
Date: Wed, 31 Dec 2008 17:14 -0800 (PST)
From: [my e-mail address]
Subject: your ad?
To: [her e-mail address]
Is this your ad?
http://seattle.craigslist.org/region/cas/xxxxxxxxx.html
My plans don't seem to be happening either, so if you haven't already accepted an offer, this might be a nice occasion to get together.
The "midnight somewhere" woman replied a few minutes later:
Date: Wed, 31 Dec 2008 17:22 -0800 (PST)
From: [her e-mail address]
Subject: Re: New Year's Eve
To: [my e-mail address]
Happy New Year's Darling,
Thank you for answering my post........I enjoyed what I have read. Yes let's have some fun!!!! I definitely have enough sensual heat to keep your attention all night. My lips are made for kissing, my hands are worth holding and my body is very skilled in a sexy way to keep you wanting more........
I prefer not to do allot of emailing but maybe move to a phone conversation, meet and begin our evening together......through conversation and touch. I have included my pic, one old and one new for your viewing. I am 44 5'7" redhead, brown eyes, bbw, single, std clean, don't drink or smoke.
I look forward to more........
~Kisses, [Her pen-name]
[Her reply included a quote of my mail.]
[She attached a photo of her face, and one of her upper body in bland lingerie.]
Good news: she's clearly ready for action, she's a redhead, she doesn't smoke, and she says she's disease-clean. Bad news: her face looks weatherbeaten, her body is droopy, and she over-uses ellipses with excess dots. Maybe I should decline.
Five minutes after that reply, the "your ad?" woman replied:
Date: Wed, 31 Dec 2008 17:27 -0800 (PST)
From: [her e-mail address]
Subject: Re: your ad?
To: [my e-mail address]
Yep, mine. This is getting a mite weird. But I have to agree, it might be a nice opportunity. I replied to one person who had answered, but have not gotten a return reply; so hard to know if that indicates a lack of interest or bandwidth. I'm still without furniture; my bed gets delivered on Friday... so I have to suggest I not host. Did you have anything in mind?
I was more interested in her, so I put "midnight somewhere" on hold and replied "your ad?". I even used some italics and a link:
Date: Wed, 31 Dec 2008 17:52 -0800 (PST)
From: [my e-mail address]
Subject: Re: your ad?
To: [her e-mail address]
I wasn't necessarily suggesting something that requires a bed; that would depend on how things go when we meet. However, if it's just a matter of furniture, we might be able to improvise with a few layers of towels or blankets if things turn out that way. We could go out for drinks, and maybe a light dinner; I had a large late lunch. If you feel like a party, The Stranger has a long list of options.
Curiously, after a dry spell in credible replies, someone else answered within minutes of your reply. I'd prefer to meet you, since we seem to be a reasonable personality match.
She's interested, but there are logistical issues:
Date: Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:03 -0800 (PST)
From: [her e-mail address]
Subject: Re: your ad?
To: [my e-mail address]
Well, I am officially old, I dallied with someone the other night on a few layers of towels and could barely move in the morning. So I have officially sworn off the floor for that type of recreation. For what that's worth.
I did get a reply from my prior replier, but of a non-conclusive nature. So feel free to pursue alternatives, since I feel I owe right of first refusal to the other individual; I will let you know what transpires on my end.
I searched more ads and found nothing. So, it's back to the previously dismissed candidate, hoping that her pictures were unflattering, rather than accurate representations:
Date: Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:26 -0800 (PST)
From: [my e-mail address]
Subject: Re: New Year's Eve
To: [her e-mail address]
Sorry about my slow reply. I happened to receive two replies at almost the same time, the other with someone I knew already, and replied hers first. If that hasn't spoiled my chances for tonight, I'd be pleased to spend some time with you. You are [in my region], right? We could meet for drinks in public if you prefer; I'm in [description of my general area].
I can phone if you prefer.
She replied quickly:
Date: Wed, 31 Dec 2008 18:34 -0800 (PST)
From: [her e-mail address]
Subject: Re: New Year's Eve
To: [my e-mail address]
Thats too funny........I just gave up on a evening out, took off my clothes put on my bathing suit and headed for my hot tub but the wind blew the cover up and the temp is now too cold to enjoy it, I guess what I am trying to say......do you mind if I meet you in my swim suit? no thats not it............I can change lol I am up for meeting if you are
I live on [description of her general area] so maybe [a mall roughly in between] would be good to meet at???
Feel free to call...... [her land-line phone number and real first name]
So I phoned.
The "juicy" part
We made plans to meet at a book store coffee shop. When I got there the store had closed early, either to allow employees a chance to get out for New Year's Eve partying or (more likely) because customers are scarce on New Year's Eve. I paced near the store's entrance for a while, getting both literal and figurative cold feet. When I spotted a parking space closer to the door, I moved my car, and settled to listen to NPR while watching the store's door.
The woman arrived and pulled on the locked door. As I approached, I smelled strong perfume and saw the same weather-beaten face I had seen in the picture. I grant her positive points for honesty, but I wasn't sure I wanted someone with a face that looked like a raisin and smelled like air freshener.
We decided to walk to a stand-alone coffee shop to talk; it was closed too. The only place open within walking distance appeared to be a hotel lounge, so we went there. We settled at a table for two and both of us ordered juice. In her case it was because she doesn't drink; she had told me that on the phone. In my case the juice was because I was hesitant to commit to staying there long enough for alcohol to wear off so I was safe to drive again.
She did almost all of the talking, which would have been OK if she had been more interesting. She wasn't dominating the conversation; it was just that – although I'm usually very talkative – I was finding it hard to find anything worthwhile to say to her.
When our glasses were empty, about an hour later, I said, "I'm just not feeling it." She said she wasn't either. I paid the bill (minimal, even though hotel bars tend to be expensive), we hugged goodnight, and that was it.
I home and looked at more Craigslist ads for about an hour, answered one "my date flaked out" ad in hopes of rescuing the evening, and looked in vain for any other non-spam ads. I finally went to bed at 10, several hours earlier than usual for me.
So, how is that story "juicy"? Because we drank juice at the hotel lounge.
