| Current mood: |  amused |
When I rule the world
So I thought that I should put this into my journal. I know that a lot of people already know about my plan for when I take over the world, but now it's public information so everyone can see how amazingly logical it is and realize that the world would actually be better if I were in charge.
I. Sectioning off the world
This part is exactly how the world will be when I take over...
China: China is my first part mainly becuase it's one of the largest countries in the world, and the fact that it has over 1 billion people. Can anyone say tidal wave? I figure if we take out about a billion of them, not only will that give the entire world more food, but it's one less communist country I have to worry about.
Africa: Africa is, of course, the 'Disease' continent. This is because there are already so many incurable diseaes in Africa that I am going to condemn the entire continent and anyone with and incurable disease will go there, thus eliminating all the diseases.
Europe: Europe will be my center for everything science relater. Why? Becuase Europe is amazing, it's got Italy, the Pope, and the Swiss. Europe will be changed to fit this of course. No more liberal spouting French people, and the entire continent will be policed by the British. I pick the british cause they're angry and they don't hesitate to beat the hell out of someone with their big sticks just for looking at them wrong.
Middle East: The Middle East will become one giant gas station. Who will be the company? Sheetz, because Sheetz has great food on top of their cheap gas.
United States: Lets face it, the US has been corrupted and screw up for years, which is why I'm taking everyone that has any worth and moving them to China, after the giant tidal wave of course. This will give all the people that have any worth more land and less of everything they don't want. Like crime, liberals, and taxes. Once everyone is moved to China, the US will become a giant pot farm, in which I will give to the many potheads that I know. Let's face it, you can't stop a pothead from smoking pot, just let them do it, and aside from that it will generate all sorts of funds.
Cuba: It will be sunk, off the map, end of story.
Australia: I'm going to take Australia back to what it was originally used for....Prison. It's perfect, it's large enough to hold all the prisoners of the world, surounded by water that's infested with sharks and jellyfish, and it's not that bad of a place so at least it will be enjoyable. The thought of getting sent to an island that has murderers and rapist running free will really stop the crime in the world, don't you think?
If I didn't mention a part of the world, it's because I don't care what they do, just as long as they don't try to attack anyone, then I'll have to bootstomp them and take over their country.
II. Laws
First law: If you commit a crime, you go to Australia, if you survive, good for you and you can return to your home.
If anyone drives like a shithead, I will revoke their license on the spot and they are required to ride a pink bicycle for the rest of their life so everyone knows what kind of drive they were.
The only person that can tell me what to do....The Pope. The Pope is half a step away from God, and God is good. If the Pope is angry, he may just have to have a chat with God and get a little smiting going on. Moral of this law: God is good, and he makes all the rules.
The majority will always win. If 2% of people want to change something becuase it's offensive. Well you're shit outta luck, cause 98% of people don't care so sit down and shut up.
Aside from all that not much will change. People will live their lives, make money, buy things, and all will be well. Gas will be cheap, no wars, no terrorism, and things will finally make sense. Everyone will have a place to go, and life will go on as normal.
If you wish to support my ideas, leave a comment, if you don't like my ideas, well it's my opinion so I hope you at least leave something intelligent alogn with your name. If you just plan to rant to me about my opinion, go run head first into a brick wall, trust me, it will make both of us happier.
~Kevin
P.S.
The following people have a special place in the new world and I would like to say who they are and what they get...
Alex - She gets Italy cause that's what she wants and frankly I don't mind. Good food, good people, wierd cars, and the Pope
Amy - Secretary of Stuff and free sheetz food
Brad - Secretary of War, why not Brad, he's bright (sometimes) and angry.
Hunters - All the hunters in the world get Canada becasue pretty much anythign you would ever want to hunt is in Canada.
Myself - Aside from the entire world I'm putting homes in Iceland and Sweden and Poland and Ireland. Why those places? First off, Iceland rocks, the people are big, angry, and they descend from Vikings. Swedend because they refused to join the EU which is absolutely amazing. Poland because that's where my heritage is. Ireland just because all the people there like to drink, they like contact sports, and they play the Bagpipes.
If anyone else wants an honorable mention, just leave a comment
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