Debating, something a director must do at times like these. I have taken an act out of my full length play for the highschool drama class to perform and to be assessed on providing that I direct it, and act as my player; since the play is about my past. For 3 weeks I have tried to get the limited cast to be motivated about it, and to perform at their best. It scares me that in those 3 weeks we're only up to scene 3 of 6 scenes, and that most of the talentless highschool students are indeed performing at their best. The deadline is 4 August, thats when their performing it.
Since it's not going anywhere, I want to pull the plug on this whole production as I know the quality of the performance is reflected onto the director and not the actual actors, and its hard to act in the play and try to direct it as well. Even though that aspect gives you an advantage and a certain intimacy with the whole production. I majored in acting, not directing. Maybe I should of given mother the role of director and just kept to acting. I much prefer being directed, than directing.I feel as if I had given the role of me to someone else, we would be getting along alot faster and by now I would of hoped that they had put their scripts down. Which they haven't. Why did I have to be limited to a cast with no talent or skill, and don't even respect the conventions, techniques and elements of a piece of Drama? out of the 11 character cast, only 3 people i see potential in.
But yet the fact that their actually getting assessed on their character exploration on this act makes me think twice about pulling the plug on the entire thing. That and the fact that I feel the need to prove to myself and others that I am a good director, after my extract of King Lear act 2 scene 7 (the eye guaging of Gloucestor) failed to get any respect or attention for my hardwork at the festival I had always wanted to exact my comeback. And now is a good a time as any. I don't know, I just can't put up with this lethargic cast which has no motivation, and uses my time as an excuse to run around screaming through the corridors and disrupting everyone. Maybe a talk to my cast is in order, as this is making me want to curl up in bed all day, and ignore my duties to the world. Its bad enough I have to see my past come to life, i don't need a botchery of a performance as well. I also don't want to be labelled as a quitter, and to give up on this is to give up on trying to heal from my past.
I feel that some Merlot's are in order to talk to mother about this as well.
Yes I rambled. But now since I'm a new member I shall introduce myself. My name is Charles, I am 20 years old and I am an actor, playwright (written 2 full length plays, 1 one act play) and now I'm dabbling in directing without much success. I was in a rockband, but unfortunately we've all broken up now. Along with performance art I also appreciate artwork such as painting...the reason for this is that my mother was an artist before she died (the mother I refer to in this entry is my drama teacher whom I consider my mother). My diary name is indeed the poisoner from the play within the play of Hamlet (act 3 scene 2). The reason for this is that the role of Lucianus let me see my unlocked potential, and thus made me pursue a life in performance arts; that and the fact that I feel dark, and dangerous to those around me. Since the role of Lucianus, I've had many lead roles in many historical and modern plays. I have had a troubled past, but i'm over coming that with this performance...even though its not going as well as I imagined. If you haven't figured it out, I'm a long-winded writer, I don't like writing short piddly entries but don't mind reading them either.
Well, thats all for today. I'll rant another time.
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