riding the waves of life
sometimes i´m afraid of drowning, though
do any of you know the feeling when life just washes by like an ocean wave, never changing anything, except for leaving a faint trace of it´s gone existence on the seaside? i get the feeling that´s just what i´m living right now. i sleep and breathe and eat and study and watch the days go by, one by one, never getting to grasp reality, getting more and more drunk with literature and virtual life. i don´t have time to go out with friends... my studies consume my whole time... the worst thing is that the time of choosing a university is getting nearer all the time and i still don´t know which route to follow in my future life. it´s no use giving in to my passion, which is italian literature, how could i ever make a living with that? but if i don´t follow my heart what else can i follow? surely i cannot choose the best profession, "best" meaning the one that will provide me with lots of money... money isn´t happiness. and i guess if i make anything wrong now, in this life, i won´t get another one to correct my mistakes.. i have to choose NOW. and i have to take the right decision. but which one is it - i cannot tell. i would love to be a teacher. teaching is the one thing i do best. i am patient and i listen to people. this is important. and i don´t have the faintest idea of how other professions work. is this the way i have to make the final decision? is this fair? has life ever been fair to anyone?