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well... jobless u have time to think about things... things u dont wanna think about i dont wanna be sitting around forever with my thumb up my ass i need to get out of where i am including my depression... i hide it.. slap a smile in its place and pretend everything is kool but its not... i wake up every morning now asking myself... how would things be different if i stayed? would i be with her? would we be happy? would i still even be the same person that ive been forced to grow into? every morning i ask those questions so im still going this thursday to see all the ppl from my old line at my old work to say hi and eat some food... and maybe... to say good bye joey and his wife sarah are still good friends... i talk to sarah alot right now... i think she and joey are worried about how im taking losing my job... but i honestly dont know how im taking it... im not sad... or happy.. or upset... i dont even feel worried one bit... even though i should be... i wasnt going to update this tonight... but then i talked with one of my closest friends... a good friend of his... she died today... dude hasnt had much death in his life... and she was a close friend... he was kinda shaken up by it... keeping him from sleeping tonight and all... and he got some bad news about one of his college courses the same day too... so hes a lil stressed and i did all i could... Him: I wish there was a reset button Him: redo my life completely Him: such a fuckup sometimes Dragons Elder: i look for that reset button every morning i wake up man Dragons Elder: every morning that i see im not in college Dragons Elder: every morning i think about how things could have been Dragons Elder: but u cant look back too long or else u trip over the shit thats coming Him: You should be in college I should be a factory Him: just soo tired Him: of everthing Dragons Elder: naw... i screwed up my chance for where i was Dragons Elder: yeah man i know... been there... still doing that Dragons Elder: just know that im here for u for whatever i can do man... im not always the greatest friend or even person... but ill always do what i can for my friends Him: I appreciate that man Dragons Elder: i wish i could be more supportive and helpfull for you right now... kinda hard when your in a funk... but things have a funny way of working out man... college wouldnt be college if it wasnt a challenge... and life wouldnt be life without a few bumps, pot holes, and patches of ice Dragons Elder: just gotta keep trying to find a peice of happiness somewhere and hold on to it... whether it be a memory or a peice of pocket lint... keep that tiny bit of happiness man... cause it helps u through shit Him: ok Dragons Elder: ... im probably just rambling now... and im sorry.. but im getting sleepy... gotta get up tomorow to file for unemployment and look for a new job... so ill talk to u laterz... aight? Him: ok Him: laters Him: I gotto go myself like im one to be talking about keep on keeping on right... i know... im lousy when it comes to pep talks i gotta get to bed now... gotta meditate... and hope that i dont wake up with what ifs Post a comment in response: |
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