|Current mood:|| bored|
its been a while
~ Sorry i havnt updated in a while, i've been really busy.... so lemme take some time time and update a lil bit... ~
~ Im outta school, so i am officially an 8th grader, YAY ~ i have a new crush, u see one of my friends invited a couple ppl over to stay the night and the guy i have a crush on just happened to go... i didnt think i would have as much fun as i did, and when i left, he said by to me and he almost gave me a hug, but britts parents were watchin and he didnt wanna get into trouble, so i just left- On Saturday (may 22) i called him and when his brother chris gave him the phone i got scared and hung up, so when i saw him at school i asked him if anyone had called and he told me someone called him and hung up. Of coarse, he wasnt mad so it was iight ~ and so far ive been having a good summer... I just got back from the beach ( i went with Brittany) (VannaBooBoo519 ) we stayed in her aunts camper, it was alotta fun... we stayed next to this really really hot guy.... we called him Sparky, cause he reminded us of a guy at church....but i think his name was Jordan, because brittanys cousin jordan went with us and when he was playin on the swings we called his name and the guy turned around.. i really wanted to talk to him, but the whole time all i did was stare and watch him, occasionally i would smile at him and he would smile back, but i never talked to him... it seemed to me like he wanted to talk to us to, because when we were all gettin in the van he looked over and said "aww there leavin..." when i heard him say that all i wanted to do was turn around and say '' no, we'll be back in a lil while '', but like i always am, i was to afraid to, so i just got into the van and looked back at him while we pulled away.... I think the worst mistake i made was not talkin to him, because from the time we left, to the time we got home, i couldnt stop thinkin about him... i know that sounds stupid, but its true... i kept tellin myself "u should have talked to him".... but i didnt so, i dont think its the fact that i liked him, i think its the fact that everytime i go somewhere and i stay next to a guy that i think is really cute, i stay the whole time, see him so many times, and have so many chances to talk to him, but i never take them.... i guess one day, ill learn from my mistakes...
As for me and my bf David, we're ok, i guess... we were taking a break but he told me today that he was sorry, and he wanted the break to be over, he also confessed to alotta things he did this weekend... you see, in the past hes been mixed up with drugs and stuff... so this weekend he met up with some old friends and they smoked and things like that, so they got all high and crap and he did some things he says hes ashamed of now, some hurt me more then him.... i mean these things have happened before and idk if i can stand being hurt like that again... but the thing is... I love him, but im not in love with him... and im afraid if i keep putting my heart on the line, its just gonna get broken even more... but i dont wanna lose him.... i told him all that stuff about an hour ago... he said he would think about what he thought would be best for us... maybe us breakin up would be for the best... :' (
Well Im gonna go to bed... maybe ill sleep on it, talk to him about it tomorrow... i hope everything goes ok... ttyl - Night
~ Ashley ~
( ~ if u have any advice, leave me a message.... ~ )