| Current mood: | broken |
| Current music: | The Moldy Peaches- Goodbye Song |
I hate you, i love you....why..
Why is it you keep coming back into my life like some weird sickness that is never ending. There's this weakness in my heart for you, like I hear from you, and all matter of reason flys out the fucking window. It's like my heart says " Oh hello, let me open up to you listen to me confess my love for you. All for you to just spit on me and run off with stupid little girls." And all the while as my heart gets torn out and beaten to death my mind keeps screaming at me to run the fuck away. And I, I just stand there like some awe struck child looking at a unicorn that isn't even real. I talk with you, listen to your pain and heart ache and tell you everything will be ok and that someone better is meant for you. Meeeee...I'm that better person I swear!
I don't hear from you in months because we fight over the fact you think i'm running around being a slut. Handing out my body like it's 10 cent candy. But really I'm not...I'm not some lilttle whore, your just jelouse and not willing to admit it. I love that you just txt me out of the blue to tell me how dandy your life is, please can't you just pour some more salt in my wounds. I'm glad work is great for you, that you finally got the car you always wanted and that your love life is going swell. It's even better when you tell me that you miss me, and really wanna fuck me..that makes my heart swell with such love...such...amazment that all I am to you is sex. And we've never even had sex!!!
I loved you..with every little fiber in my entire body. All I ever wanted to do was to be with you and try and give us a chance. But no, you were to worried to leave your little girlfriend in the first place. Who you told me you didn't love which you pretty much proved since you were at my place...all the time. I just don't understand, if you don't have any type of feelings for me other then sexual then why in gods name do you keep coming back to me to rip my heart out. I tell you it's ok for me to be a fantasy and you get hurt...well it hurts me. I love you and want to be everything to you. And I'm not, someone else gets to be your everything.
Why the hell do you txt me tell me that you miss me...my touch my eyes how easy it is to open up to me. Tell me that I make it so easy for you to be you. Tell me all these things that you don't regret me and so on...and then...then you tell me that'd it'd be best if we just don't talk anymore. That it would be easier for you to love the person you're with if we don't speak. If I'm not in your life. I havn't been in your life for the last few months, I havn't talked to you, e-mailed you or anything. You could have just left me alone, I was starting to forget you again. But no! Everytime I start to forget you, you pop up again and tell me you miss me. Thank you, thank you so much for fucking up my heart again. So now I can sit here in my head and think of what possibly could have happend. I wish there was some sort of pill to take so I could forget you.
Thanks for saying I'm nice..and loving and caring and a great person. But this nice..loving, caring person is tired of being crapped on so much by you. You say you have feelings prove it, either give me the chance i deserve or leave me alone. For some god awful reason you'r my damn weakness and no matter what I'll always let you in when your around. No matter what.sooo....as you wish. In your last txt you asked me not to speak to you anymore. So...this is it good bye....Goodbye till you want to talk to me again...Goodbye ...Lee
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