|Current mood:|| drained|
|Current music:||this rockin' cd Z gave me|
Nothing makes sense yet through my eyes the world seems clearer than it was before...
Today was allright. Went into Philly w/ Z to south street. Got a t-shirt that promotes the devil... isn't that special... I'm really curious as to the reaction of the people I know, teachers included, when I get back to school. Could be interesting. Don't know why though... I guess because I'm easily amused. That could be it. Look, I'm even fucking babbling to myself online.
Been thinking about the most random crap since I got back. Living...dying... things I want to do before I die (not all that exciting)... people who will live... people who want to die... my freinds... their problems that they don't deserve... things I don't deserve but am graced with anyway ... emotions ...love ...depression ....angst ...numbness ...but most recently the fact that I'm being narcissistic by even writing this. Been thinking that a lot. Like why anything I write should really matter anyway.
Read this good book a little while ago. The boyfriend in it is the closest thing to exactly the kind of guy I would want to have a relationship with. It's sad because I'm like... it's ok that he's a drug dealer... he not that bad of an addict... and he cares a lot aout his gf....
like I said...sad. Oh well, don't give a fuck.
Sorry this whole thing is so damnfucking fragmented, that's just the way I've been thinking. Maybe that's the problem... the inability to form a coherent thought and follow through w/ it for more than a second... though life is made up of only so many seconds...so many less than many others...fuck. Did it again.