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Devon (devonx19) wrote,
@ 2003-12-12 23:23:00
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    Current mood: confused
    Current music:All I here is *HER* voice

    ill never kno....
    wow well this week went by wicked fast. mayb cuz no school monday and rehersal and shows every nite this week. monday, tuesday and wednesday we had rehersal for the capachiones christmas show, last nite and 2nite was the shows.they were good, and fun. school kinda sucked but 2day was cool. this kid was starting with me at lunch then wouldnt fight me, and he was a junior. wow guy. well heres the story....this kid said something 2 me at lunch and then all his friends were like oo he wants 2 fight you and i was like ok fine. then nuttin happened.b ut then like 5 mins later the kid throws an ice cream sandwhich at me. so i was fuckin pissed. i stood up and threw it rite back at the kid, and was like what the fuck now your throwin shit. and hes like no it was hit out of my hand, i said, bullshit you fuckin threw it, and i was like u think ur fuckin big and tough cuz ur a few years older i was like come on now that i aint takin your shit what r ya gonna do . i was like come on lets fuckin go. and the kid didnt say nething. like he acctually look scared. it was hilarious. and the whole time his friends were just tellin me 2 sit down. and thne some kid called me alphalpha. and they were laughin and clappin. so i made this big scene and i was clappin then i was slammin my hand on the table and i was like o fuckin great one, that was soo good , what a fuckin comedian. it was hilarious(again) but then i sat down and chilled out, but it was great the kid like wouldnt fight me. but neways i deff. met someone. i was soo happy, she goes to capachione, tuesday nite when we had rehersal for the christmas show i saw this really pretty girl. and i was talkin 2 my friend about her. then the next day my other friend was like hey my friend thinks your hott. and it was the girl who i noticed at rehersal. now there was something there as soon as i saw her. like i felt something right away. it felt amazin, and i cant stop thinkin about her. but theres this one small problem. so thinks im gonna b 16, not 15, she also thinks im a sophmore, because she is a junior. i hate myself for lyin, but i would do anything to have a relationship with this girl i mean i felt something RIGHT AWAY for the first time, and man i wish i could tell her how i felt. i mean ive talked 2 her a little bit.i mean to me age isnt a big deal, but i dont think this girl would go out with a freshman, but i she doesnt kno that im really mature for my age, and im not like most guys my age, ive seen first hand what it takes 2 have a good reltionship i kno, i dont get this age shit, i mean shes like 16 i think so if this 18 year old wanted her i think shed go out with him.......but fuckin ass why do i always want something i can never have, why do my instant feelins happen like this,i hate it, but i love it, i mean i kno i dont kno her that well but when it feels like this i cant ignore it. ahhhh man i hate bein soo confused i mean one minute i convince myself she will want me ,the next i am kickin myself for bein so i hate this game....i mean thats all love is isnt it, a game. who knos. i dont. i just kno i have these feelins i wish i could act on. i guess ill never kno.....mayb.

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