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Barbie (devilishbarbie) wrote,
@ 2004-02-20 11:01:00
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    Current mood: crushed
    Current music:brand new ... me vs. maradona vs. elvis

    watch u on the ones and twos, thru a window in a well lit room
    hello fellow blurty users.i am sat here in my room without a bed.kerrie is lying on the floor..or bed!?and i am wrtitng my blurty feeling completly lost even tho i know exactly where i am physically but emotionally i dont, i rly need to tlk to certain ppl about certain things, i need certain ppl to be honst with me about things.i am so afraid of geting hurt tht i kinda b4 dint want them to answer the questions but now i think i am just gona have to risk getting hurt and collapsing into a pile of tears, coz i'm hoping tht woteva they say wont be too bad tht it will wreck our friendship coz i think losin them will not kill me but affect me rly badly. but then i need to know! i need to have the answers tht i have wondered about for so long. i need the comfort of knowing those answers! i need them to know tht they have to tell me everything they think about me for the reason tht i am told evrything and i wud prfer the whole story coming from them!coz then if it was big bad stuff i'd KNOW not to do it again! ever! i know tht i must;ve hurt them for them to feel like this about me, but i want to know wot i have done and i dont want to have the fakeness wen i do see them. i want to treat them as i did b4 i got told all this stuff about wot they had sed and stuff.and this tme i dnt want to blame other ppl. i am prepared to accept ALL the blame. even if i shudnt get the blame. i am happy to be told tht i am to blame! i am rly rly scared tht if i dnt have this tlk with the certain ppl tht it will be too late and the damage will already be done. grrr but wen do i do it, wen do i tlk to these ppl and wen do i make it clear to them tht i am feeling the make or break situation and i jst want them to be honest!?
    anyways i had beta go, boring myself...if any1 has any idea of wot i'm meant to do..plz help me!?



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