|Current mood:|| mischievous|
|Current music:||guernice...brand new|
o dear...like a nice chewy sweet turning sour...F4AF in 7 days
well the sweetbit is the nght i've had (even tho i do think i have bin a bitch for being not all over mari or kerrie-but i'll explain tht later) but what i am upset about at the moment is the lack of 2companionship" there is between me and rio....
right...for somebody i have known for so long now i am so suprised tht she cant be honest with me...some random girls have just come online...email address...cnt rememba...but they were jst like "why the fuck havent u smashed up rio for what she was saying about u" they checked it was me first and i was getting quite worried cos they were like are u barbie...blah do u go to challoner....blah are u mates wiv so-n-so and i was like "yeh-yeh-yeh" and they were jst like..."you dont kno us but we have info for u...we're only doing it coz we think u shud kno!" and they told me that rio had bin saying all this shit about me...and how i was a complete cow and stuff....and then wen i spoke to martin <3 <3 <3 about it he was jst like "well...erm i tld u wot she sed 2 me, but u blieve her ova me" and then mari asked wot she had sed and he told us "Barbie never gets decent relationships...and even if she does then she fucks them up in some way or another" sumin along the lines of that...and he promised me tht he has the convo saved and tht wen i stay at his in like 2 weeks then he'd prove it. so WTF is going on??? i have done nothing but stick up for her recently even offered to slap sum townie crab for her and told her tht i was happy for her with reece and all tht lot and then she repays me by telling martin <3 <3 <3 that. i am just thanking god tht he dint listen to her. to be honest i dint believe she had sed tht until tonite...he sed he'd prove it to me and i trust him coz there is noway he can fake it...i dont see why she cant just be normal and adult and just tell me to my face and let me know wot she thinks about me...then...bcoz i don want to lose her as a friend i would try to stop annoying her. i am beginnin to get paranoid that she just doesnt want me to be happy. i rly dont understand y she would try to screw things up 4 me and martin...it just doesnt make sense...??? :S smebody thinks tht she still likes him...which then makes me feel guilty and makes me contemplate finishing it with him (not tht i will) coz i dont want to hurt her...but then again she has reece. its rly confusing...i dont know wot to do about it.she never slags of kerrie or mari so y me? wot have i done to her...i would never fone up reece or woteva and say errr nah u dont want go with her coz she'd do this and do tht. i kno she'd never try and hurt sum1 on purpose so y wud i do tht. but then again...i have never hurt sum1 on purpose...and the only relationship i have fucked up was wen i cheated on steve...but then i told him and after a week we got bk together and since then i have never and wud never do it again. its so gay coz i dont want it to ruin anything wen she is down next time but i still want answers? i never asked her properly about the martin thing last time...but this time i want answers. i dont want us to break up but i just dont understand y she would want to say that about me let alone to actually say it. grrr i am so annoyed. i just want everything to be perfect.
errr yeh i feel like a bitch because i dint rly spend a lot of time with kerrie or mari tonite and i feel rly rly rly rly bad...i am rly rly rly rly sorry u two but i think i was just on a new time relationship thing! i feel rly rly rly bad. erm...i am such a gay.but yeh i think this one cud last not tht i rly kno tht seeings as we have bin together all of like 24 hours!!! whoopee!!! but huh yeh!
well today has bin eventful