Jess is going to have my babies and we're naming the twins Cara and Cara II. :-*
I'm so unbelievably uncontrollably unsomething else that I stayed inside drinking hot tea all day. Amy and Liz weren't home when I called this morning, so I drew a picture of the two of them lounging in Hawaii and drinking colorful drinks because I was sure that they had abandoned me to do just that, but luckily Lizzie called later and pointed out Amy was probably still packing shit at her place and wasn't quite finished yet. I also realized Audrey's phone plays "Love Will Tear Us Apart" as its ring tone and now I love her even more than I did last month when we sat on my bed watching The Real World, eating popcorn and dissing on all those whack ass bitches.
Have you ever acted on impulse and said something in the heat of the moment but no sooner than the words had left your mouth you regretted every last one? Remember when you were a child and your mother told you to be careful of what you wish for and to choose your words wisely? The former doesn't apply so much as the latter but it's all relative. Once uttered, words are almost their own entity and cannot be retracted under any circumstance. You can apologize but the slate will never be wiped clean and it will always linger somewhere in the back of their mind.
Growing up I was taught to forgive and forget. It would seem the best way to get past it, if you believe in that, I guess. I'm all for forgiveness and second chances but to forget something as small or tremendous so easily without question? You might as well have a neon flashing sign above your head that reads "I am naive, please walk all over me."
After reading and rereading this I'm even more irritated than I was before and think maybe I should have stood by my original "fuck you." It said more in itself than I ever could, even in a somewhat harsh and uncalled for manner. It could be what I was going for.