|Current mood:|| morose|
|Current music:||The Pixies - "Caribou"|
music: The Pixies - "Caribou"
I woke up this morning with a smile on my face. The dream I'd had was so cool -- I was able to fly, everything was magnificent... all of that nice dream-world fluff.
Then I realized where I was.
Burying my head back under the covers, feeling the stress rise up already, I sighed. I know this isn't a foster home. I know it could be worse. But the thing that bothers me is, it could be better.
I wish there was some sort of way to push empathy onto others. To force them to feel what you feel, so they'd understand. Then maybe they'd get it. I'm a cauldron of feelings right now. Shame, guilt, anger, bitterness, depression...
I want to be independent and stop everyone from further fucking with my life. I want to be helped and stop myself from further fucking with my life. I just want to be happy. Isn't that what everyone wants?
But you can't always get what you want.
It's okay. I never did.