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Stef (depardesprit) wrote,
@ 2003-08-17 22:18:00
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    Current mood: morose
    Current music:The Pixies - "Caribou"

    I'm trapped
    mood: morose
    music: The Pixies - "Caribou"
    I woke up this morning with a smile on my face. The dream I'd had was so cool -- I was able to fly, everything was magnificent... all of that nice dream-world fluff.

    Then I realized where I was.

    Burying my head back under the covers, feeling the stress rise up already, I sighed. I know this isn't a foster home. I know it could be worse. But the thing that bothers me is, it could be better.

    I wish there was some sort of way to push empathy onto others. To force them to feel what you feel, so they'd understand. Then maybe they'd get it. I'm a cauldron of feelings right now. Shame, guilt, anger, bitterness, depression...

    I want to be independent and stop everyone from further fucking with my life. I want to be helped and stop myself from further fucking with my life. I just want to be happy. Isn't that what everyone wants?

    But you can't always get what you want.

    It's okay. I never did.

    -s



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