|Current mood:|| sad|
|Current music:||Bone Thugz N Harmony - Tha Crossroads|
whilst doing my hair to go out tonight (Olive Garden and tentatively BarNone but if they card I'll be home reading like a cool kid), I put a CD in and blasted my iTunes to hear it from the bathroom. One of the songs that came on was "Tha Crossroads". And it just made me think of Ace. I'll see you at the crossroads... so you won't be lonely. And I just started crying. Because I feel so guilty. That his last months/days were so terrible and painful for him. And that the day we found out he had to be put to sleep I was selfish and made him come home one night longer so he could be with me one more time. And say goodbye to mommy, but obviously to sleep in my bed with me. And he was just so - tired. And I was just an asshole. Baby, I'm so sorry. You were the hardest goodbye of all.