| Current mood: |  discontent |
Well, I finally have a day off!! Which is really great except that I'm off tomorrow and when I go back on Sunday I work straight through til next Saturday. But hey at least I'm no longer among the unemployed. LOL That's what I tell myself everytime I feel so tired I don't think I can go on another day. I don't get to spend as much time with Tom as I would like to now, but that's ok cause it makes the time we can spend together that much more precious! Of course on the days he works early that time is even less. But we will be ok, we always are. I love him and he loves me and we always have been ones to enjoy time with each other and still be able to spend time apart. We have our moments, but we wouldn't be a couple if we didn't. He works today and then after he gets off work we are going to SB's for Lil' Cris' birthday party. I talked to her this morning and she said that if we waited til Tom got off work that would be ok. She even offered to come pick us up if Bri couldn't make it over too. So that's cool. I picked up Cris a camera from my work lastnight. All he's been talking about is how he wants a camera, I figure this one will get him by til I can start getting a paycheck coming in on a regular basis and get a better one. Tom picked him up some hotwheels and will get him a photo album to keep his pics in today from his work. He's not having a big birthday this year. :( As everyone is so strapped for cash, but at least this way he will still have one. And he will still get some things he's really wanting as SB got him a "furry" robe like hers and Taz'. They are strapped for cash because they are trying to buy a house and SB's work screwed her out of two weeks pay, one being vacation and they just got caught up on the things they were behind on. Unfortunately it looks as though none of the kids will have a Christmas this year. As adults most of us don't really care one way or the other, but for kids it's a really big deal and they always remember those times more than any other.
Well, I'm going to hate work next week! Bri's van is out of commission and we can't afford for him to lose his job as it's the highest paying one in the house, and as no busses run to where he works, I get the pleasure of using public transportation again! I could walk but it's going to be cold as hell just to walk from home to the bus stop and I will probably freeze my ass off most of the time and be more tired after work than I usually am. But I gotta do what I gotta do, I need this job and whatever it takes, I gotta do.
Well, it's official, Bigman is a loser and low life and will NEVER have my respect EVER again and that low life cunt of a sister-in-law of his, Brandy, best hope she never comes face to face with me. She talked to Angel on yahoo! yesterday morning and said a lot of things that not only pissed of Angel but really made me want to drive to Alabama and strangle her stupid ass!! She told Angel that she (Angel) never tells her kids she loves them and is always using them against Bigman. Which is total bullshit. KS is old enough to decide how she feels for herself and Angel has told her many times that she can write her dad whenever she wants and has tried to explain to KS that she's not the reason her dad walked out of their lives. But it's really hard for a child to accept that it's not thier fault. Angel doesn't bad mouth him in front of KS and even told her she doesn't HAVE to hate him. But KS, has her own feelings and reasons for the way she feels and the only people that can change the way she feels about her father and her Aunt is her and them. What do they expect? KS loved her father and then he won't call or write her an email, and her heart is broken. That's what she's reacting to, a broken heart and she also knows how much her mother is hurting and that affects the way she feels and thinks as well. And unfortunately lastnight Bigman talked to Angel on Yahoo! and KS walked in just when Bigman had typed and told Angel that he wasn't coming home and didn't want to come home. KS saw it, stormed out of the room, and said she hated her daddy. Now, how in the world is Angel supposed to help her deal with this. I know that Angel still loved/loves Bigman and that all though she got the closure she needed to know that she has to move on, it still hurt like hell and now both her and her children are forced to try to move on and live a life without her husband and their father. I hope that she will be able to struggle through all this ok. I know it will take some time and I wouldn't blame her one bit if she just took some time to be with just herself and her children. I know that's what I would do. KS has a birthday the 21st and then of course Christmas is right after nice present from her father huh? What a fucking asshole!! I'm so angry about all of this I don't even know how to express myself. I can only imagine what Angel and KS is going through. And to top it off, everyone else seems to think that because AS has CP that none of this affects her, but it does. She knows that her father is not around, she may not understand what's going on, but she knows he's not there. I hope that Bigman and Brandy have the worst Christmas of their lives and that they reap all the sorrow they've given Angel and her children a hundred thousand times over.
Well, that's it for now. I've got alot to do before the b'day thing tonight. And I'd like to be able to enjoy at least one of my days off without having housework to worry about. The weather is nasty, but there are other things I'd like to do that I couldn't do because I was working so much. Talk to you all later ~~~~Demonique
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