| Current mood: |  crushed |
| Current music: | The sound of my heart crushing in her very own hands |
my thoughts on brittney
What’s it feel like to just be left behind? To know that you’ll never ever be good enough no matter how hard you try. And try so hard to make this unrelenting pain die down. Yet no matter how hard you try you just can’t turn your back on this dieing world no matter how callous it is to you. Every time someone hurts you, you only become that much more gullible.
Do we even know that one moment where we know that we have been dubbed insane. To do something so horrible beyond the human imagination that they cannot grasp what you’ve done so they label you. To know in those last moments that they are your last minutes of freedom and maybe if you could just make them believe it was some joke, yes then you could get away. But no , they have already discovered your dirty little secret and try as you might you can never hide it again because the truth has been uncovered.
So you run. You run so far away in hopes of getting away from this reality and finally find somewhere where people know who you are and understand these feelings you feel. A place where you never hear those “ I hate you” ‘s muttered under someone’s breath. To finally know you belong…..or at least you think you do. Until you wake up one morning to know that its all just a stupid joke. And you were the punch line.
No matter how hard you try you just can’t seem to get away from these feelings. You can never escape your past nor the memories that haunt you. The people that hurt you and the emotions they uncovered. The feelings they unleashed on this world. They never knew just how mean you really could be, but now they’ll never use you again. Yet no matter how much these people hurt you , you still feel sympathy for them. How can I feel this? You ask yourself. So finally you know what you must do to get out of this situation so they can never hurt you ever again and they can never get to you. Death.
To know those last moments are coming when you’ll never have to deal with this awful world ever again. Now you have finally escaped . Until you wake up that is. Then you realize it was only a dream. You wake to realize you can never escape from it. You’ll never be heard. They’ll never care. It’s that simple.
Now your possessions own you. The one possession you can finally trust, the one that took your very life is now the only friend you have here. You feel so empty. You’ve been used one too many times and now you’ve had enough. You show them that now you won’t take it. You have to get away. But try as you might they still own you and you can’t get away.
Present yourself
Press your clothes
Comb your hair
Tuck it in
You just can’t win
You just can’t win
You just can’t win
You just can’t win
You just can’t win
You just can’t win
And the things you own
Own you.
Why'd you waste your time
when i am merely nobody in your eyes
Just an insignificant teardrop on your face
Yearning to say my goodbyes
I hope you’re pleased when you see my casket
Lost in my eternal otherworldly stare
I hope when you put the flower on it
You regret saying you didn’t care
When I told you I loved you
I meant it with all my heart
But when you said I’d never be good enough
My flesh ripped apart
Now I waste this blood on someone
As filthy and grotesque as you
When you never care if I lived or died
When your words of love were never true
When this blade digs deeper and deeper
Inside these disease filled veins
I hope you stand there watching
Lost in your eternal everlasting reins
I hope when you place that flower on
My locked box into a land beyond your dreams
Into a place more horrible than this dieing world
Where you have no life to fall apart from the seams
I hope you stand there in your ignorance
Alive to the others but clearly dead to me
It opens up your eyes to this horrible mistake
I hope you can finally bare to see
The nightmare you turned into my life
With no conscience clear at any time
The life you wasted was not your own
It was always clear to you that it was mine
The nights I spent lost in your eyes
Were nothing but mere webs of pain you spun
To catch me in you deadlocked cell of pain
To kill the only one
The only one who saw through you
Your opaque cheap disguise
When You said I was something I believed you
Until I saw your web spun of lies
Now I clearly know I’m nothing
And I was never something at all
Just a mere insect caught in your web
Spilling blood on the wall
sincerely dead,
frankie
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