|Current mood:|| blah|
Pffft.. didn't get to jog yesterday. I did however, engage in a phone conversation with a friend who needed my advice.
*tries not to think about her slow but incessant weight gain* Goodness, all that extra food my parents force me to eat could be used to nourish the starving children of the world instead of bulking and storing up as useless, static fat in this body of mine (can you say clogging arteries?). I'm a little bit of a push over when it comes to my parents- and I've no choice but to be that since they-as they themselves have stressed before- provide for me. The only escape is skipping the meals during which I'm in school. My meals a day consist of the "afternoon snack", dinner and "late night snack". Don't be fooled- the things they tell me to eat usually add up to more than just 3 regular meals put together. In fact, I think all that I take in a day equates to 5 big meals. *shudders* I exercise but it's just not enough to stop the gain. And I'd work out more if I wasn't so swamped with work :P
I've been thinking about it... and maybe I should just go back to being anorexic.
I was happy the way I was before but my joy was short-lived. The damned doctor lied to me and with the help of my mom, forced me into recovery. What was I to do but conform when i was being subjected to conditional positive regard?? It's a conspiracy I tell you. I never quite forgave that medical fibber for that. And now I know my mom would stoop down to anyway as long as she has it her way. I detested the way they dealt with the situation. I did.. and I still do.
Seems as though a majority of the people who care for me have a problem with falsehood.
I'm not putting up a stygian pretense about my life. I'm not blowing things out of proportion. In fact, I'm not asking for anyone's commiseration. The things I put here are purely the way I feel.
Being individuals, we have different emotional thresholds and we differ in almost evrything. That's why I haven't come to understand what the deal is with norms. You say that it's a common factor in a population. No. That's far too generalized. Besides that, its troublesome to know that many have the misconception that norms=whats right. We all differ- whats their basis for normalcy and the abnormal(the wrong)? When a person looks abnormal i.e, physically unattractive, we don't say that they're wrong or that they look wrong.
Sometimes I feel like society drives us like mindless lemmings. Be careful not to follow suite in the confusion of it all...and watch out for the cliff.