| Current mood: | confused as all hell... |
| Current music: | Funeris Nocturnum-Hypernation Mantic |
Coerced Coexistance
I don't feel like it's bad. It can't be bad, because she makes me feel so fucking good when I'm around her. She's a dame. A beautiful girl. I'm so into her, but I don't know if it'll go anywhere. Like the car's stuck in park until she figures out where she wants to go. And I'm stuck for the ride. I don't mind. She's really sweet. I like that. Fun to talk to. Fun to be with. I almost love her. Almost. I don't know. She doesn't want to hear it and I don't want to say it. Hehe, kinda weird, right? I'm afraid to say it. Consequences are too great, you know? If I jump the gun, she'll be down the road.
I dunno, I really really really like her. Nah, man, she's a fucking goddess...I can't get any more specific than that because the words to describe her just don't exist yet. And I'm frustrated as all hell. I don't know what to do. She's amazing. And I want to tell her so much, but I freeze. Oh Sam, I wish I could tell you all this shit, but you don't need any of it right now. That's my dilemma. Classic catch 22.
And it's not like I could ask her. I want to get into her head and figure her out. I almost flubbed up and told her that tonight. Hell, I almost jumped the gun tonight. Gods were watching over me. Good thing. Cause I needed it. We're gonna talk through it tonight. Hopefully, I'll figure out where I stand and where she stands and we'll figure out what we want to do with this 'thing' we've found in each other. She's sexy. God, if you only knew how sexy she is. And free. She's a free spirit, roaming the earth, just like the rest of us, but few of us realize such. And she does. It's beautiful. Looking into those huge brown-green eyes...gawd. I get sucked in every time. FUCK. Why do you have to do this to me Sam? Shit. AARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!! Death metal growl.
Throwing up the horns, mates, Morbid Angel @ Masquerade on 4/25...be there or be dead...
Every time I see her eyes...it's those goddamn eyes. I'm into this girl hardcore. She has no clue how much I like her. I told her, but I have a tenacity for understating things. I don't know what to do. HEHEH
Should I stay or should I go now
Should I stay or should I go now
If I go there will be trouble
If I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know
Should I cool it or should I blow
Nah, I'd fucking love to stay. But I don't know if that's what she needs right now. Why do I have to like her so much? Sam, why can't you be a controlling red-headed slut? Why do you have to be so fucking cool? I mean, I really like you alot and I'm freaking out. Ok, maybe not freaking out, but I'm still trying to figure out what the hell is going on. I'm always in the dark. But whatever. We'll cross that bridge in due time, I suppose. Hopefully the bridge doesn't collapse and we all get sucked into the vicious river below. She's sweet. So sweet.
She doesn't want to hear it. And I can't say it. So why am I so fucked up right now? Sam, you're really fucking with me.
I don't like getting vulnerable. And she cuts me open like a can of spam, one finger and one thumb. That's all, man. And I like it. I like talking to her. I love having sex with her, but I'd rather just talk with her. Sharing of the mind, rather than the body. It just kinda means more when she talks. Fuck it. I shouldn't worry. Hell, I have so many years before the end of my life or the end of the world, whichever comes first. I wish she was here right now. Shit, why do you have to be so freakin hot and shit Sam? Damn. Ok, enough is enough.
Rant, rant rant...
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