| Current mood: |  disappointed |
Dear R
Dear R,
Honestly I know that I shouldn't miss you after all that you've done, after what you've done to me & put me through, but for whatever fucked up reasons I do miss you...I miss you more than I thought I would! I'm angry as hell because you got busted, I'm angry that your back in jail & I'm angry at myself for ever letting you stick that needle in my fucking arm! So now, here I am, sicker than before, addicted to that needle & trying to not flip out & just lose my shit, hiding the fact that I miss your crazy fucking ass!!! Even though we're both sick in our minds, even though we're both fucking junkies & have really messed our lives up I still love you & miss you & even though I've been telling people that I don't ever want to see you again...the truth is that I do!!! I love you, but honestly I hate you too! You'll be out in 16 months, but hopefully by then I will be clean & straight, but I'm scared because you do have some type of hold over me & you are very convincing & I don't want you to come fuck my life up again! You have changed me & my life forever & remember when you said that you wanted to give me something to remember you by? Well, you have that's for sure & I will never forget you!!!
XoXo B
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