|Current mood:|| touched|
|Current music:||Still Waiting - Sum 41|
I really love Kat. The two of us, Sally and Zombie went and saw Bringin Down the House. It was a great movie. At the end, I felt like makin out with Kat cuz it got REALLY sappy, BUT! we didn't. I really love her....I wonder where I would be if I didn't meet her. I would probably be dead. She has....shown me that death isn't the answer to a problem. A problem of so much pain kept inside...all bottled up. She has shown me that there is more to life than just fighting, computers and caffeine. Even though those are still what my life is based upon, I am slowly changing. I can feel it. The last couple weeks when I have sparred, I havn't done much on the offensive side. I have been learning to take hits and stay standing, even though I get hit hard, fast and for a long time. Its hard to do that, but it is the fastest way to build up some short amounts of endurance. By pushing your body beyond its limits, you become stronger. Thats what sparring does...at least for me. It pushes me to my limits, and than throws me over the edge, head first. Yet every time, I still land on my feet. Kat has shown me that I don't need to fight to become who I want to be. Peace....peace is good. She has shown me that there is such a thing as real life. With people....and feelings. I used to be kind of cold and distant from people. When I did that.....I didn't open up to anyone. It seems that I tell Kat as much as I want to tell her and some stuff I don't, but do anyway. Secrets are off limits to everyone, but....I open up to her. The whole caffeine thing....she doesn't care about me and caffeine. Alex used to hate me for it. Well, my dads comin, so I gotta go. Write tomarrow!