you lil ball buster
Last night, i put alot of things into perspective...I relized, you really can't trust any body but your self. Sure people will try to help, want and try to comprihend your problems, when in reality, your the only one who can truely turn your life around...i also relized no matter how much you try to gain exceptance there are just some people out there not willing to give in and grant you that... telling people your problems is almsot like a double edged sword even if they do except it they wont ever compleatly understand and if they don't then your screwd and placed in a possison of vonarability...
i'm kind of feelign very alone and unsure lately... It finnaly hit me that ..i'm graduating, and there is nothing i can do about it...and i cryed....i'm graduating and to me it seems my own friedns and family don't want to be around me ne more....like i did somethign so wrong and now i have to pay the price...of course every one will put the blame on me and say i'm over reacting your takign every thing the wrong way, when to me this is the way and this is how i feel so how can it be wrong...i just cant understand things that i need to and that scares me....this life i had for 17 years is about to change drasticly, for better? for worse? who knows...all i know is things will never be the same, Sandra the person in her family known for fearing change in the simplists of forms is goan move out of her hosue make new friends, granted i will keep the old, and be thrown into somethgin unknown ne thing i ever had to deal with in my entire life..tell me thats not alil nerve racking..its over, my life as it stands in this form of the word is over...
i just want to tell every one i love them, no matter what..thats all..and dont take advantage of other peoples vonirability..cause it seems thats been happenign to me alot lately...which throws more fear into my ability to be strong, testing it .
ne way...maybe i'll be able to shake this or at least cope for now...
untill then i leave you with these words of advise
" Making sex is like chinees diner, its not over untill you both get your cookies."