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Brit (darlinnightmare) wrote,
@ 2003-04-20 00:10:00
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    Current mood: pissed off
    Current music:Evanescence- Bring Me To Life

    Purple Passion and Birthday Balloons..
    Well.. Here we are. I'm home the night before Easter waitin up for the Easter bunny. Maybe when he gets here I can toss up a few carrots and some colored eggs. We colored eggs tonight, me and my parents. It's kind of sweet in an old fashioned way. It sucks that it's never gonna happen again huh? Easter next year my brother'll be outta here, I'll be too wound up in college, highschool and work to care about dying some damn eggs. I should cherish the moment and think about the future tomorrow, huh? Or how about the past. My past.. I played baseball with kids around the neighborhood, Jake, John, Kenna, Jimmy, Mickey, Paul, sometimes even my brothers played. I remember chasin Paul around with the baseball bat and tryin to use his shoulders for a tee and his head for the ball.. I never did catch him either.. Lucky kid. But if you think about the past it always leads up to the present, and the present destroys anything that ever mattered in the past. Jake's a momma's boy preppie kid who thinks he's God's gift to women. John's been institutionalized for manic depression and suicidal tendencies. Kenna disappeared for a few years then showed back up as the all start track team captain who's too good for anyone. Jimmy moved to Alaska and fell in love with an Eskimo girl after he told me he planned on coming back here and taking me to Spain where we'd get married and have three kids, Aaron, Draven and Jade. Mickey lost his legs in a train accident and Paul graduated as the perfect 4H Club, Boyscout, trumpet section leader he started out as. As for me and my brothers.. There's no explanation for how fucked up we are. Adam keeps to himself about everything and broods like a damn vampire, Brian is a pot smokin ex-truck driver and me? I'm a little bisexual girl stuck in the hell of highschool with a pessimistic outlook on life. Life's changing now.. It's changing so much it hurts to breathe. I'm growing up, seeing things through new eyes.. feeling things through new skin. It's so different. What I dont understand is how I'm supposed to adjust when it's always changing. I find something I like.. Maybe even love and I get slapped in the face and realize it's leavin, or I'm drifting away with the current. I dont know what to think. I see all my friends getting serious with someone. Marriage, pregnancy, enlisting in the military, heading off to college. But that doesn't matter, because I'm still stuck here. In that internment camp they call Harrison central. Oh well, maybe it is a circus.

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