|Current mood:|| hopeful|
Ode to a Woman
You met me in a very interesting time in my life. A time when all the known patience is reducing itself over and over again into biproducts and bastard children of sadness and acceptance, loneliness and wisdom. A time when a change is occuring, but without my knowing. A time when confidence comes in piles, but not layers, and is only based upon certain situations and positions familiar to me. A time when comprehension of the motives steering me towards certain loves and certain hates is beginning to surface. I would not say I love you, because familiarity is something I still hold dear. Though I can say that I find it easily possible, and as of right now, I do like you so very much, and I admire and adore you. This is true. Normally, I would not pursue such things in such an earnest or manner, but as I said, you met me in a very interesting time in my life. When I look at my reflection in a smooth surface of water or a sheet of glass or a mirror, I see my pale skin with its scattered red bumps, its smooth hair swirling into a vortex whose center is my belly button, my penetrating eyes, my bushy armpits, my skinny features, and my rearguarding hair. That is the outside. What I heed most attention towards is what I see in the alignment of the muscles in my face regarding an emotion, or a quality. Every time I see myself, I see good, but it is not straightforward. I see but a glimpse of potential. At this point in time, my flaws are infinate. I suppose each change in character who has a going-through process involves a time of confusion and fallability, more so than normal. I know no one is perfect or sublime. But the potential that I see is moving. I see a possibility to take this acceptable man and turn him into a good man. When I say a good man, I mean a remarkable man. Now, I have respect, I must say, even from myself. I do not find myself to be an abrasive ass, just a subtle one. And I do not find myself to be stupid, just ignorant. But oh lady, if you could see the potential I see, then you would know why I allow myself to you. So take when you need, and in the meantime, I shall prepare the coming of the New Golden Age, when I can look at myself and not have to think about it.