| Current mood: |  depressed |
| Current music: | Prodigy - Funky Shit |
what the fuck?!?
this is the first message to ever be posted in two different journals. wippee.
it's a little lengthy and rather depressing, just warning you now. i'll put it behind a cut.
nothing makes you feel more alive than when karma kicks you square in the nuts. there's so much bad karma around me that it's overbearing.
oh where to begin...
well, first about 3 weeks ago i find out that my friend's uncle had to go in for his 3rd tripple bypass and that's had him down. most likely he wouldn't come out of it alive. damn bodies.
then, i find out that my so-called friend has been talking shit about me to everyone but me. he's saying that i need to get a job and stop sponging off of my father and pay him back. he also said that my friend, Jamie, needs to stop hanging out with me and get a job himself. it's not like i've not tried. i've been applying everywhere i can. when people will only hire experience and i've none it's really fucking hard to get a job. of course, this doesn't matter to some people. it's nice how someone who use to be my best friend in the whole world is now a back stabbing motherfucker. funny how you think you know somepeople.
then, just last night, i find out that one of my closest friends, Chris and his girlfriend whom has always been there for me, are getting evicted. from the notice they got i came to realize that the only reason is because they get a lot of guests and that the complex isn't a "teen hangout". so, to live here you can't have any guests? is it coincidental that this happened whilst they were having monitary issues? i think not. in my experience nothing is coincidental. you have no idea how much this news both pissed me off and hurt me. these two are the nicest people you could ever meet. eventhough, chris will tell ya what he thinks when he thinks it, he's still the nicest guy i know. then, they get evicted for being popular? fuck that.
a few hours after i heard this news, i find out that two of my other close friends, donald and candy, are on the verge of divorce. she finally had her last straw. i've gotten rather close to her during the tenure of their relationship. i didn't meet until they got together. i'd found myself sharing with her information that i wouldn't tell anyone else. it was extremely rare. i guess we just clicked. i think that's part of the reason why this hit me like it did. i'd still like to be her friend, but at the same time, i'm sure donald would accuse me of trying to move in on the love of his life. it's sad for him because this was his first real relationship. he loves this girl more than anything, but in the end it was mostly his doing. crazy depressing shit.
and finally, i find out this girl that my friend Nate likes is playing 4 different guys. nate isn't going to go for that and i feel he'll fall apart very soon. there's nothing i can do about it either. i really don't know all the details about this since i've been away from their for a while. so, i'll stop now.
so, it almost seems that everyone around me is going down. i'm not even sure what to do. it's pulling me down. this is all i've been thinking about for the past 12 hours. what the fuck can i do, ya know? my god.
i'd like to shove my dick up karma's ass.
Joshua.
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