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Ryan S. PUG (danimals_boy) wrote,
@ 2004-05-23 21:29:00
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    Current mood: hungry
    Current music:"FAT" - Supersize Me

    - Prom was so Awesome! -
    Let me begin this entry with an unexpected statement: "Time for an update."
    But seriously, read this entry in its entirety, it is worth it.
    So, Friday night was the talent show. And, surprisingly, I played a character heavily against type, like Mrs. Lory playing the pretty girl in hair with the umbrella (who Joel constantly scored on with hugz.) So intuitively, I was portrayed as an awkward, nervous loser with a broken foot. Even fucking Raven from Disney's hit television series "That's Sooo Raven" was shocked. And she can tell the future.

    But lo, my parents missed the entire fanfare of lamousity because--
    DAD: "...But.....the Laker game.." :-(

    __Then Afterwurdz__
    After the show, Josh, Michelle, Mussy, Emily, Laura, Azia, Kerry, and I flew down to Beeje's (BeeJay's [BJ's {Blowjobs}] ) ....(just use order of operations [PEMDAS {I'm laym.}] )

    But anyhow, our waiter was brilliant. It was Larry Haney after aging twenty years, getting hit over the head with a lobotomy machine, and then being renamed "Gregg L." He made noises like a chunky four year old angrily playing with his Tonka's. Keep in mind this was while he was serving us our food, and he was unaware of his own mannerisms.

    After we simply could not contain ourselves any longer, we burst out laughing while he was doing this. Inexplicably, this mockery of his very life somehow only went to encourage him.

    GREGG: (Swaying his arms awkwardly) "Hey you guys wants ta hear a songs?"
    US: (Suppressing laughter) "Sure..."
    GREGG: (Beaming) "Alsright! You want the Led Zep rap or the uhhh.. LSD rap?"
    US: "We'll definitely take the LSD one."
    GREGG: (Begins to spit and blow into his fist, wheezing heavily--one might be able to assume that he was attempting to beep box. Then he begins to flail his bony arms wildly in an almost rapper-like fashion.) "You want the food, I'll buy you some acid. You want it now, I buy you some acid. You want some pizza, I'ma buy you some acid. You want the pizza, you do, I buy you some acid. Acid, acid."

    This is the anti-climactic, sprinklers-weakly-sputtering-onto-the-lawn sha-bang sha-bam finale to a minute's worth of pure poetic outpour of inhuman bliss.

    As the fabled Allan Hunt would phrase it, "It is at this juncture" that I proceed to slip Greggory L-Dawg (who is now quivering meekly, but smiling) a crisp, green wafer of legal tender. He snatches it, giggling. Doesn't-get-better.

    I went to go view "Supersize Me" at the lil' theatre down in Westlake with Ty-baby. - - - - - - More dashes!! So we walk in, immediately greeted with a tiny concession stand, with a timid worker playing solitaire behind it.

    WORKER: (Face perks up at the sight of costumers) "Oh, heya fellas! You guys waiting for 'Supersize Me'? I'll go clean up the theater!"
    US: "Alright."
    (Forty-five seconds elapse.)
    WORKER: (Wiping his brow.) "She's ready."

    The movie was fri-higgin awesome and is a must-see. (<

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