whiskey dream (dandelionfluff) wrote, @ 2005-03-26 00:26:00

i spent the last 4 days editing three different projects. if there is any justice in the world:

1. this week's episode will rate real high. (so what if i think you're right charlie.... all the
trouble for a 4 minute slot but still....)

2. my client will stick to the revisions they gave and we will be paid immediately.

3. i will be part of the newest music show on air soon.

==============

i still think about this and that. i have reconciled this and that. i think it's time to move on. what do you think?

===================

you know how we're a family.... and i love and understand that but it gets to a point where i feel like i can't live my life like this.

don't ask me not to worry about things after telling me about all our problems.

i can't take care of all of you all the time and i'm so sorry about that. i feel guilty that i can't be a better daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter but there is only so much that i can do. or say. or make.

i can't make you eat.

i can't give you money all the time.

i can't do anything about your situation.

there's just so much that i can't do. and it's not because i don't want to do anything about it. i simply do not know what to do about it.

if you only knew how much personal shit i'm going through right now. there's a lot to deal with and half the things i'm going through i can't tell you because it will only upset you. outside the house, i didn't exactly grow up to be the christian girl you wanted me to be. and while i know that you all sense that, i'd rather just not have you deal with the "me" who has to survive out there.

i'm just trying not to drown out there.

+/

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