Kaan (cynicalhope) wrote, @ 2004-01-06 11:45:00

A booty call and a reality check.
She called me around 2:00 am on a friday night and asked me if I could come over. I was there in an hour.

We proceed to make out and she tells me:

"You know you are the fifth guy I called tonite"

At the time I did not care. I wanted to do her and get out. She was so mechanical about the whole thing there was no feeling not even lust. She practically just lay there all I got was couple of kisses. They werent even in the proper places.

I always wanted to be a sex object to a girl. I guess the idea sounded cool in my head.

I remembered the times I told my she friends "Whats the big deal? Its only sex. Whats this emotional attachment crap all about?". On that faithfull night I was given a once in a life time opportunity to see the whole intimacy issue from the female perspective. Her aloofness. Cold non caring, almost inhumane and blase take on intimacy made me open my eyes.

I could not perform.

Now I am a different person.

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