So i Hate to come into a group and have the first of my words be a rant. but thats exactly why i came here. its been years sence i stopped coming to blurty and reading all about other people stories i thought if i ignored it, it would all go away but it cant nothing can stop the suffering i feel inside my head i know i'm ill i know i need help but i dont want it i just dont. i am in love soo deeply in love but i just cant take it no matter how happy or how sad i just want to take the nearest piece of glass and not just cut rip my skin open my god it just feels so good and even picking the scabs after they start to heal its all a game my sick little perverted game and my boyfriend just doesnt get it. he wont let me do it. hes the best thing thats every happened to me but i cant stop this sickness this urge to rip open my skin it haunts me it takes over me. what do i do how do i convince him i can't live without it? he made me promise i wouldnt pick the scabs but i already have 4 hours after i promised what do i do i cant hide it from him he sees all of my body. i cant live without it i cant and i dont want to. how do i convince him that by telling me not to it just makes me want to do it even more? i'd prolly die if he left me and he said he never would unless i cut again.
Please someone help.