| Current mood: |  tired |
that old familiar feeling....
i did it
i broke my 3 years and a 4 months
i havent told anyone except my boyfriend
he is not mad a me.. but proud of me?
PROUD?
he says, he is proud of me because i did so well, for so long...
i felt good when he said he was proud because he is right...
but also i feel like shit
a dirty fucking whore fuck face that enjoys burning herself
ive been thinking about the whole slicing and dicing thing
but where would i do it??
it's not like im in high school again and i can hide it with a shit load of bracelets
my mother dear would totally notice if i did somthing like that
the alarm in her head would go off and i would have to show her my wrists or arms
i have a real job and i do things.
you know what i mean...
i dont want a therapist
i dont want more meds
i am tired of this shit i go through
anyone that S.I. is tired
i cant be doing this anymore
i broke in...and i am bad for that
but that pain i first got doing it again and then the numbness
that old familiar feeling ! >.<
i still have time to never do it again.
i can pretend it never happened
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