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Michelle (crushedsodacan) wrote,
@ 2004-02-05 23:50:00
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    Current mood: artistic
    Current music:Korn

    Sometimes, things just seem to fall into place like the cliche line of pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. However, there's those other times, and I think that my pieces are like those that have been left in the rain, warped, yet still recognizable. Once, they fit together, but now they have to be pushed and prodded, bent, abused.
    Now the pieces will never make the beautiful picture.
    Does this make them less worthy of the challenge? Knowing that in the end, there won't be something worth a frame, but a mess that you have to squint to understand?
    I don't know, but what good are the pieces if you just leave them in the rain.
    I had to go out and gather them up, soggy, little cardboard corners curled and aching.
    I had to find them all, in puddles, between cat paws.
    I had to dry them with the heat of healing. I had to lay them out and examine the damage.
    The, it was time to construct. Is there a picture forming?
    Is it the one that was originally intended?
    I'll let you be the judge.

    This is my life, and no matter how you judge the choices that I make, and the places that I go, I know that I'll wake up each morning knowing that the day before was lived to the best of my abilities. And I'll know that the hours ahead, whether filled with tears or laughter, boredom or pain, will always make me better, stronger, more than I was the hour before.
    I know that for everytime I make your head spin, I make my own spin twice.
    I know that for everytime I shock you, I amaze myself.
    I know that for everytime you smile, I laugh.
    And everytime you hurt, I die.

    You'll never replace me, you'll never "complete" me, you can only become something that adds a moment to my life, something that makes me feel more useful, more of the person that I want to become.
    The puzzle doesn't have a certain number of pieces anymore, since there is no picture I'm trying to build.
    I can distort, and that's where you fit in (all of you) I can piece you in anywhere that I want, and the picture loses nothing, but does it gain?

    Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to.
    Don't follow me if you see a better path.
    And don't take me with you, I won't stay.
    I am here for a brief and fleeting moment, and if you want to track my steps, I'll leave them deep for you, but know I never asked for this, know I never needed this, know that no matter how many days you trace my footprints, I'll always stay a step ahead.

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