crosshatch (crosshatch) wrote, @ 2003-07-10 10:27:00

Okay so like I confronted the guy in my accountants office, and face to face, and hearing his story, I believed him and that he wasnt responsible. Well, directly. Actually, he was just irresponsible to the point of allowing someone else access to my information. So essentially, I was garteful that he was honest with me, and said that essentially, I don't really fucking care to even go there anymore. Life is too short. I want to work with my accountant cuz I just hired him (my first) and incorporated my art business thru him, and he has saved me thousands. And I actually felt like I could trust the kid with my stuff... he was so scared... That chapter is closed. A new one is opening. He has to come to my house to set up my accounting files here. Is that wise? He's cute as shit, too.

I don't know WHAT to do about this long distance whatever-it-is with my friend in Mexico. I mean, we definitely have something...clicked...whatever. And I have even thoguht I loved him. But the reality is, he will never be able to come here...legally. Am I just reaching for something unattainable? Is it even possible to love a guy you have spent so little time with? A few trips to Mexico...endless hours online and emails. Which have gradually dwindled to almost nothing...

So I think I want to date. You know, like real date. Not like the usualy gay-standard for dating. You know, like meet, do stuff, and not fuck. Like gte to know someone. Like talk and see what each other likes. And hopefully get to a second or third, or eighth date... Does anyone do it anymore? Or should I just assume that If I don't put out by the second date, they'll lose interest and move on? Perhaps for the better in that case.

Or maybe I'll just sit back and wait for Mr. Right to fall in my lap...when I'm 80.

Does anyone else believe in love at first sight?/meet? Am I just fucking hopeless, or what?

I want a real relationship, not a hostage.

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