| Current mood: |  groggy |
Lost
The choir chalet has come and gone. After waking up from my nap, I feel lost and lonely. Having him around for the past 3 days does things to my head, now I seem to be having withdrawal symptoms. For 3 consecutive days, he was around whenever I thought about him, suddenly thats's over. I just can't seem to get him out of my head now.
We had fun of course, the BBQ, going to the beach at 2 in the morning, nearly getting drunk. Speaking of getting drunk, I think being half-drunk caused me to become hyper sensitive to everything about him. I actually got jealous and then angry and then sad all in about half an hour. On hindsight, I think that was silly, but I still dunno why I acted that way.
Sometimes I think that it's really sad that JC life will only last you for 2 years. If only more of such gatherings and chalets and outings can happen without making us feel so guilty for the A levels. But thats the sad fact of the JC education system. I am so looking forward to the times we are SO going to have after the A levels, and maybe then I would have really gotten over him and we could all do things together without me lapsing into my "depressed" mode, which btw, has been getting under more control now, even though my heart still wrings everytime I see him and know I cannot have him.
I think he is one person who I've really come to love. I dunno why but it's just that way. I just hope that one day soon I'll be able to handle this love for him by myself and maybe find another one that will love me just the way i love him.
"Everything Means Nothing, If I Ain't Got You Baby."
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