| Current mood: |  drained |
I Dreamed That Love Would Never Die
its been about 3 days since i blurted out everything to him online (31th May, Tues) .. and since then, we almost never saw each other. the only times i saw him was before chem SPA and before chemistry lecture. And we dint even acknowlegded each other's presence. My friend told me it would be best if i just totally kept him out of my life for now, that keeping him out of sight may help me get over him.
todae i came home and when i was alone for a moment before i lay down in bed to rest, i realised just how much i actually missed him. Oh god, the intensity of that yearning.
I miss looking into his eyes, how they seem to say a thousand words and yet say nothing. i miss just standing beside him and feeling his aura, making me feel comfortable and warm and fuzzy. i miss his scent that makes me go wild inside. I miss seeing him smile and laugh and do his quirky little actions that never fails to melt my heart.
And all that just after 3 days of technically not seeing him. I tot things would work out after that long discussion we had online. Apparently not.
"absence makes the heart fonder" finally i understood and felt the full extent of that phrase, even though not in the best of circumstances.
I guess the world is really unfair. The same fren also told me this, "you are goin to break people's hearts, just as how other's are goin to break yours. That's how it all is." It makes sense, but I've ever truly fallen only for two person in my life, that is one of my best frens in sec sch and him. The cruel thing is that both of them cannot bring themselves to love me as much as i do them. Perhaps this is life's way of telling me i can't be loved. Maybe its because i'm gay that i'm going through all this shit now. Maybe its not my time yet. I will still hold on to the dream that someday, somehow, someone is going to love me as much as i love him.
Yeah, dream on.
"I Dreamed A Dream In Days Gone By, When Hope Was High And Life Worth Living."
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