| Current mood: | exhausted |
| Current music: | The Rest Is Up To You - Relient K |
...x.o.x.o...Home to blurty...x.o.x.o...
.....It's late, I'm not tired. I told Jared I'd go to sleep before four but gosh darn it time flies when you're having ever so much fun. Ah, there's no fun here. I've got a lot on my mind. A lot about Jared and I just wanted to go on my beautiful livejournal and vent about it. Well livejournals done some changes and it messed up my layout, *cries* I poured all my heart into that layout and now it's gone. Gone like other things. I'm not sure if Jared and I gotta make it anymore. I love him; I can't think of life without him; it just hurts too much. Anyways I came back here, home to blurty, home of my first online journal, the first one I let my sister read and comment on (Danielle knows what I means).
.....I don't know, I just feel like it's over with Jared, as much as hurts to say thats how it feels. I still love him, I KNOW that much for sure. If I didn't I would just walk away, but I'm staying for now, hoping for the best, hoping things with get better. Me being away is really getting to Jared, I wish he was here, he wishes I was there. I'm going to school here, his school is there and so is his family. I don't know it just doesn't work, and I just don't wanna lose him.
.....I tried to plan my classes so I wouldn't have classes Thursday or Friday so I could go home Wednesday. Then I'd have more time with Jared and time with my mom, to make her happy. Well, I got it so that I can leave Thursday afternoon. Only thing is my mom's made at me because I'm "replacing her with Jared." Yea, w/e I don't care. On my birthday you'd think she'd want me to be happy. Neither of my parents said happy birthday to me, I don't think my dad knew. Doesn't matter I didn't think they'd care, but I didn't think my mom would get upset over me trying to be happy. If they didn't sleep and hang out in the shop the whole time I am there, or better yet if they didn't talk about Jared the way they do maybe I'd want to be around them. I love him, and my parents won't even get to know him.
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