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"When one is faced with a battle between the Yin and Yang within the wisest course of action is to deny it the chance to battle." -Lao Poe "Girl friends come and go, but friends are for life." -some smart western guy "When friends fight the universe cry's" - Rayhanin When I was younger I didn't understand that statement. I believed that one must always confront pure good and pure evil with all the strength in my body. I figured, if I didn't allow the fight then I would never know what would happen, I would never know what my soul wanted. Then a little while ago I finally figured out what the old monk meant. Chris (Kiyomi) is dating Lana, a girl I very much dislike. Now normally this wouldn't matter, I wont tell anyone to date anyone else. Infarct if he can truly say she makes him happy then I wish him the best. What he seems to not understand is that I do not like her, at all. I've tried to be friendly, nice, polite, tactful, even diplomatic but no matter what I try she pisses me off. Now, I just no matter want to be around her anymore and here's why: 1. She has done some really mean things to me in the past, I shouldn't have to put up with people who hurt me. 2. I don't want to be in a position to giver her another opening. 3. My talents allow me to understand a persons true nature, all of my friends are good people. When I look into her soul all I see is darkness, and I here's like total darkness. Whenever I see her, there is this little voice in the back of my mind just a tiny little voice suggesting to me that I should just fix it with a little spell, one simple...little spell. The thing is any spell I cast now has repercussions, if I end their relationship with magic karma dictates that magic will push me away from my love. I cannot risk that, I love Kristen to much to risk screwing it up. If I try a different approach like attacking her directly then risk hurting Kiyomi, a friend who has been like a brother to me. Now, I go to anime night as my reward. It's what I give myself for not giving into temptation, it's my sanctuary the place I go to to relax. I am ry if I sound a little territorial about it but it's my place. It's where I go for me, and I brought you guys because I wanted to bring you into my world. Now I feel like my world is in flames. I don't have much family anymore, so I see my friends like Kiyomi as family, epically Kiyomi to me he is a brother, just not one by blood. He has stood by me when I thought I was all alone. I don't want to fight him, I never want to fight with him. Why do people keep forcing my hand? This is the second time I've had to walk away from something I enjoy because he has brought her. He knew both times that I would be there, and still he brought her, he knew that I am trying to avoid her, and still he brought her. I have been slapped in the face by a friend, by a brother. Tell me, what am I do to? I get no respect anymore, that's the only excuse anymore. I have become a joke to him, is that it? Does he hate me that much? have I mistrusted him so? Kiyomi once asked "why can't we(lana and I) just get along?, why can't she just be part of the group?" The answer is simple, for all times we bug the shift out of each other our group of friends love each other like a family, and we each other love her, we can't because she cannot love us, it's not in her nature. Ok, Kiyomi here's where I see us right now. If you pull this stunt again I have to cut you out of my life, and if that happens you know it will split this circle of friends up, you will start a civil war. If a civil war occurs then no one wins. I like wining, I can deal with losing, but not when the stakes are this high. I here's want to lose you as a friend, as a family member. I've lost two families before, I here's want to have to sac a third one. Post a comment in response: |
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