Personal Gothic
Sometimes I sit and wonder whats the point to all of this. Right now I seem to be stuck in somekind of nightmearish holding pattern forced to live the last few days over and over again. Stuck at home, waiting for someone to hire me. Waiting for someone to notice me. G'akar said "All life can be summed up into moments of antsiapation and moments of revalation." I seem forced into antisapation, a state that I cannot stand. I am a man of action, a man who must be doing something, for like a shark in the water for me to stay still is to die.
This time must end. I need a job, I need a girl that I can stand to be near, I need more then the fire in my veins, I need to love again. Love is a curious thing, some people have love all their lives. It is something I can say I have not known this life. The elders that I have met, the ones who clame to be amoung the first of us who are mages say that I am luck that I do not know love for I shall be spared the truth those that have long life have learned. That love like all things will eventually turn to ash, and it is only huam arogance that thinks it can live forever.
I reject that idea that love is simply a chemical reaction created to insure that the species contunies. Love is something that cannot be uantified. It is something byond cause and effect. My dream of finding love carries on. I must go forword, for this static existance is slowly withering me away. Taking my wyld nature and with it obscuring my path.
I now search for reasions for my past and meaning in my future. I must break the chains created by the apathy of socity...to break the chains of the last 2000 years. To save us from pain, save us from fear. Most of all, to let us all dream again.
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