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forget my name, forget my face (coolxkevycoolx) wrote,
@ 2004-05-25 21:33:00
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    Current mood:proud
    Current music:last train home - lost prophets

    High School Movies.
    Ever since I can remember I've been looking forward to high school. I thought it would be one non-stop party. I would hang out with my friends all night and never do any work. I could picture myself as a big football hero. I would imagine myself scoring the winning touchdown in the championship game. There would be 10 seconds left on the clock and we were down by a field goal. The other team just scored and was kicking off to us. I got the ball and then I was off. I made my way to the 20 yard line untouched, then it got tricky. I faked right and went left on the first guy and he fell for it easily, 1 down 10 to go. This next guy wasn't so easy. He got me from behind, I never saw him coming. I tried to shake him off but he wouldn't budge. Luckily someone from the other team tried to hit me while the other guy was on my back and knocked him off. I was free at last and only had about 60 more yards and 8 more people to get by. I made it the 50 yard line and a player came at me from the left and one from the right. I jumped over them and they knocked each other out. I was just 6 more people away from being the greatest hero this school has ever seen. I cut toward the sideline where nobody could reach me. I was at the 40, the 30, the 20, the 10, then I felt one of them close. He was right next to me. I reached out my arm to push him away but he grabbed on. I knew the only I could make it to the end zone was with him latched on to me. So I put my head down and I dug into the ground with all I had. By this time the player was on my back. I was at the 5, the 4, the 3 and I couldn't go any further. I fell forward and extended the ball as far as I could. When I hit the ground I didn't know if I made it or not. I waited, for what felt like hours, for the player to get off my back and I found myself in the end zone, I did it! I jumped to my feet and before I knew it my team grabbed me and lifted me up. I looked into the stand and saw the entire city of Lynn on their feet, all cheering for me. Of all the faces the one that stood out was the prettiest, my high school sweetheart.
    I've replayed that play in my backyard a million times since I was 8. Choreographing each step so it would be more dramatic than the last. I thought it would all happen, just like in the movies. Over the past 4 years I've learned that nothing is like the movies.
    My first real high school experience happened before the first day of school. It was during double sessions for football. It felt like we were playing in Africa. After we ran sprints at the end of practice we had to do a ball carrying drill. We had to run with the ball down field while players hit our shoulders. Everything was going fine. Everyone did it without dropping the ball and the coaches seemed happy. Then it was my turn, I felt so nervous I thought I was going to throw up. I ran and before I even made it to the first player I tripped and dropped the ball. I thought I died. I couldn't feel my legs and my heart was beating 1,000 miles a minute. I closed my eyes and prayed to God I was dreaming. I found out I wasn't when my coach was on top of me yelling at the top of his lungs. The whole team had to run on a hill, appropriately nick named “Africa”, for an hour all because of me. I couldn't believe I did that. I thought for sure my high school life was going to hell.
    Nobody said anything bad to me about the incident, but that was because nobody talked to me anyway. There were no more incidents during football, I just kept to myself and nobody talked to me either. As the season went on I came out my shell. The freshman team went undefeated and everyone played an equal role, I wasn't the superstar I expected to be.
    School started off the same way football did, rough. I was put in all honors classes and all my friends were in normal classes. That means I started off brand new, nobody knew me and I didn't know anybody either. I've always been shy around new people so I was the loner of the class at first. A few months into the year I started talking more and letting my personality show. I started making some good friends. There was this one girl in particular, Dianna, that I felt I had a special bond with. I didn't want to tell anyone how I felt about this girl, especially her. I was afraid to tell her because I didn't know if she felt the same way about me and I was scared of rejection.
    The year went on and I was starting to become more popular. I was even becoming somewhat of a class clown. I started getting caught up a little too much on fooling around and I wasn't paying enough attention to my school work. My parents were not happy about this. My brother got perfect grades in school and my parents wanted me to be like him. It's hard to have to follow in someone else's footsteps, especially when they have completely different interests and personalities. By the time the year was halfway over all of my privileges were taken away because of my grades. It was hard to get back on track. My grades still weren't great by the end of freshman year, but they were the best I could do. My parents started to realize that I wasn't my brother and it wasn't fair for me to have to live up to the standards he set.
    My relationship with Dianna grew stronger as the year went on. I thought I would finally tell her one night online. She signed on and just as I was thinking of how to say it she IMed me saying she has good news. I asked her what happened and she told me she goes out with some junior named John. My heart fell out my chest and onto the floor. I thought I was going to be sick. “Congratulations” was all I could say. I signed offline and went to my room, I shut my door and lied down. I didn't know what to think. I just lied there until the next morning when I had to go the school and see here face to face.
    The next day in school I acted like nothing was wrong, even though it was eating me up inside. I never told anyone how I really felt and life went on. At the end of freshman year Dianna and John broke up and things got back to normal.
    Sophomore and Junior years went by before I knew it and I was already a Senior. By this time I was absolutely in love with Dianna and we were best friends. I was still an average football player who always gave all I had. Our team won the championship and it felt absolutely amazing. We did it through hard work, dedication and team work, not by showing off and selfishness. I kept my grades up and I was accepted to Boston College. I had a great group of friends and I was ready to graduate.
    I thought I was ready to graduate. But I found out there was something I had to say. That's where I am now. It's graduation night and I just drove to Dianna's house. I ran to her front door and knocked on it as hard as I could. I told her how I feel, I told her everything. She hasn't said anything yet, I feel like I've been standing here for an eternity. She slowly opens her lips and says “I'm sorry, I don't feel the same way.”
    High school isn't anything like the movies. I've never seen a high school movie about getting your heart ripped out of your chest by someone you love.

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