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Shivering with the Magnolias (conquistadora) wrote,
@ 2002-12-19 23:49:00
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    Current mood: distressed
    Current music:"So much for the afterglow", Everclear

    Well, I was content.

    Then I got an email. I hate when that happens.

    Bactrack. Yesterday was a lovely day, i went shopping with Aquinas, got some stuff for my sister, and then I went with him to LOTR. First off, the movie was a religious experience. I cried, of course, but at some ponts i was just awestruck --- it was that good. Aquinas and I were holding hands during some of the really intense parts --nothing romantic, just solidarity, if that makes sense. It sound corny, but it was just a great three hours. Plus to top it off i had delicious peppermit hot chocolate, and my ex boyfriend who made me cry in 8th grade (Aquinas' friend) apologized for that and complimented me on the new haircut. It was a lovely excursion.

    Then i came home. Prufrok had snet an email sayign hw was done with the whole drama. Of course, since I've had no apology from The Preying Mantis, I'm wondering how he can be done with the drama. When they were the only two with problems, I stuck with him. He says he told her it was wrong to insult me, but she apparently doesn't care; obviously, he's not goign to do anythignif she doesn't apologize, so why bother when she hates me? And add the fact that Prufrock said she reiterated the twisted Ramya conversation. I'm so fed up with this. SHe needs to get a life and get over her unfounded jealousy, and he needs to be a supportiv friend. In my dreams. Sometimes i wonder. I really care about him, but he is so goddamned self-centered sometimes! I mean, we all are at some point, but this whole thing with TPM is taking it to the extreme.

    On top of this, I talked to Porthos online last night. He's become a vegetarian after seeing a goat have it's throat slit for a ceremony. He signed off very abruptly, after throwing me into cofusion all over again about my pact with myself. I son't think he means to, he's very clear that he's supportive of whatever decision i make, even though he would obviously prefer one over the other. So then i read this email he sent me at my school address, a very general "i luv ya and i miss you" type of deal, not with any reference to my name. Then i notice there's another email address it was sent to. I asked him who it was, and he said "a good friend, ex-girlfriend actually". I don't think he's stupid enough to be cheating on me, but it's possible. And even if he's not, i'm not too happy about getting the same email as an ex, particularly when he's asking a great deal of me. And i'm upset because of how upset this all makes me --- i was trying to keep a realtive distance, no be too involved so i wouldn't get hurt. And i feel hurt, even if there is no reason to. Ugh.

    Anyway, today was little sister's birthday, i did all the prep work and it turned out well. Tomorrow i visit school. And right now i'm having a lovely conversation with Nancy Drew, and i talked with Adelaide earlier. Let me introduce Nancy Drew, she's important. She's a feisty redhead, extremely intelligent, and of course, a handy person to know. We go to school together, and she introduced me to a wonderful man named jose, who is connected with the lime business. She takes excellent notes in philosophy, and is not afraid to take funny pictures in CVS to run out a roll of film. In short, she's my best friend at school. Yay for Nancy Drew.

    Gotta get upearly tomorrow, so i'll stop kvetching, as Adelaide would say. Sweet dreams.



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