| Current mood: |  annoyed |
| Current music: | A Winter's Tale - AFI |
I've got a book of matches, I've got a can of kerosene. I've got some bright ideas involving you and me.
Thanksgiving. I hate this holiday. It's just such a family-oriented holiday and I lack of family. Sure, I have my immediate family, but it's like I don't have any relatives. My mom is just so stubborn and she thinks everyone is out to get her. I'm not even allowed to interact with my aunts and uncles. She doesn't even want them sending my brother and I gifts for Christmas. God, she can be such an asshole. She's just so stubborn. She can never admit that she is wrong. But then again, the more I think about it, the more I seem to be like her. I hate it when I come to that revelation, but it's true. It's true that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and man, that sucks. But then again, I think it's sort of good growing up with her as my mom, not healthy, but good. She is a perfect example of what I don't want to be. When I see how she acts, it really gives me a good idea of what kind of parent not to be. She can be all right at times, but then other times it's like she's this totally different person, mostly when she's drunk. And her being drunk is sort of good in a twisted way. It makes me not want to drink, because I don't want to turn out to be a drunken idiot. But, I shouldn't talk too much trash on her, because she can be cool at times. It's just weird.
I've been in a daze for the past couple of days. I sleep for about six hours and get up and walk around all light-headed until I pass out for six more hours. I don't know if I'm sick or just sleep-deprived. But I don't know how one can be sleep-deprived when they spend the majority of the day sleeping. I need therapy. Or just a high dosage of Motrin. My head hurts so much, it's not even funny. Well, it's never funny when your head is throbbing so why bother even saying that. Damn phrases.
I don't even want to eat tonight. It's not like I'm fat, I just have this gut that I can't stand. I tried on my dress for the dance and since it's so tight my stomach sort of hangs out, which really sucks. So I have to wear these Control Top panty hose which makes me feel like an old woman. Because only fat, old, saggy women have to have things to keep their guts in.
I'm so bored, I hate this holiday.
I conclude.
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