| Current mood: |  shocked |
| Current music: | The cure |
Wow, I have no idea what just happened. I spent the whole day in school just fantasizing about how I wanted to go home and sleep. So 3 o'clock rolls around and I finally get my wish and I'm asleep in my bed. I get up around 5:30 and within five minutes, my brother is screaming at me to get my stuff and to leave the house. I walk out of my room and everything is just in a state of disaster. My mom is stumbling around and the floors are sticky and there are cigarettes on the ground. My mom is wasted as anything, and I hate seeing her secret cigarettes that she pretends like she doesn't smoke just lying on the ground because she's too drunk to remember that she lies about just about everything to my brother and I, and she's too drunk to remember to hide them. I wouldn't even have such a big problem with her smoking if she didn't LIE about it. If she were more open about it, I wouldn't like it one bit, but at least she wouldn't be pretending to be someone she's not by trying to hide it. And this drinking. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT. It amazes me how drunk she can get by 3 o'clock in the afternoon. So anyway, my brother makes me leave there and in the car he is cursing about her, and he doesn't want me to talk to her until she decides if she wants to be a drunk or a mom. It was all so surreal. I just didn't feel right throughout the whole ordeal, and I had no clue what was going on. I had to pinch myself to see if I was still asleep. I know it may not seem like a very deal, my mom being drunk or anything but it is to me. She has done so much to fuck me up and I can't stand it. All of the lying and shady things that she does, and other things that she does to herself have just taken a toll on me. People like her should have never been allowed to have kids in the first place.
I swear, the next time someone complains about how bad their lives suck because of some superficial bullshit, like the person they like doesn't like them back, I'm going to fucking slap them. People don't even know what it's like to have a shitty life. I'm not saying that my life is that shitty, it's just that I hate my mom and how much she has fucked me up. People just don't know a good thing when they have it. They take it for granted thinking that it's just not good enough.
Thank God for Matt.
I conclude.
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