Argh i need to release some frustration. Things with Mike, the ex who i can't seem to let go of, were goin well - we were back friends n slightly flirty n all seemed good. This last week we'd spent each night textin each other n things got more sexual each night endin with us tellin each other exactly what we wanted to do n on an emotional level too with sendin kisses n compliments back n forth before we got carried away n sent more sexual wants. Carried away is all it mustve been because tonight, the night we wer finally both free to secretly meet up n do what we'd been talking about, he text n sed he'd 'forgotton' about other plans he had n has 'been thinkin anyway, maybe its not such a good idea with our past' I am such a fool, why was i so easy as to instantly start flirtin with him n bein so available for doin stuff casually? I feel like his freakin toy for him to play with when he wants n then get bored with n put away for a while. Havnt told any friends bout any recent developments with mike because i know they wud all say 'no dont do it claire!' n if they found out that not only had i encouraged somethin happenin with mike but made myself so available that mike has had his fun n now but a stop to it like hes the freakin boss. Am so annoyed at him, but the sad fact is i still love him n thats why i was happy for anythin to happen. Ive asked him to email me later with what he wants coz i dont know how he feels anymore. Men..!
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