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BK (ck612ck) wrote,
@ 2003-09-18 15:42:00
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    Current mood: awake
    Current music:like a prayer - madonna

    I saw the sign, I opened up my eyes and I saw the sign.....ha...i wish
    Here is an excerpt from an e-mail my uncle sent me this morning: "Heard a rumor that you had an unfortunate and untimely incident w/ a sign post. Man, NYC must be tougher than I remember. It took me at least until October of my freshman year for my first visit to the emergency room. If memory serves (and it's a bit blurry for an old geezer like me), most of my visits were either induced by lack of athleticism (intramurals) or lack of sobriety."

    So yeah...I hit a sign. I was walking back from the store with Nell, Emily, and Kristen. We had gone out to get stuff for Kait and Annie's birthdays which are September 19th, and September 22nd. On the way back we crossed a main street and started walking on the sidewalk. The sidewalk was narrow, and I had my head down, like usual, as I walked. I went to put my head up to say something to Emily, and then, SMACK, right into the sign. I slammed my head into it, lost my balance as my feet came from out under me, and whacked the back of my head on the concrete. Luckily, my pony tail absorbed some of the fall, but I was still disoriented and suffered a minor concussion. I also cut my lip some how and now have a fat lip.

    Emily and Nell took me to Fordham's medical center where they told me that I had to go to the hospital. Emily and Nell both offered to go with me, but Nell had work at three and Emily had choir at 5. It wasn't fair for them to come with me due to my own stupidity. Plus, I needed Emily to stay home and go to my tutoring meeting for me which I had to miss.

    The hospital is an extremely lonely place. I couldn't even talk to my parents if I wanted to because cell phones aren't allowed. Every time someone walked by I imagined my parents walking in just like they've done the other 100 times. My dad would walk in first with a concerned look on his face, and my mom would walk in second, arms crossed, forcing a smile for me. I wanted so badly to see that smile, but instead all I saw was a man vomiting non stop for atleast half an hour, and doctors who laughed at me when I told them what happened.

    The doctors stopped laughing though when I told them my past medical history. The first thing that went through my mind when I fell was, "Fuck". It wasn't, "fuck that hurt", but "fuck, all that work, and now I may have just screwed myself up again." I feel ok now though, and I don't think I damaged anything other than just getting another concussion.

    Last night I was really anxious and sad, and really wanted my parents and friends from home. The girls on the floor, although sympathetic, laughed at how I hit my head. It's funny now, but last night I wasn't in the mood to laugh because I was really scared. I ended up taking my anxiety and fear out on the wrong people and managed to offend my brother, and one of my best friends all in the matter of twenty minutes.

    Thankfully, I didn't screw up things too bad between my friend and I, but I did manage to further separate the line between my brother and I. When I called my mom crying to her because I was so scared I could hear my brother in the background screaming, "fuck you!" He im'd me to ask if I was feeling better, and I told him I was fine, but that he wasn't and I couldn't take it anymore. I was only telling the truth, but it was definately the wrong thing to say, and now, like most of the times I open my mouth, I wish I never said it.

    Today I didn't go to class. I'm supposed to spend the day in bed, but that is extremely boring, and will not be done. I did go to 5 minutes of one class though just to drop off a paper that was due today. I felt like I was drunk - I couldn't walk in a straight line. Sitting down I am fine, standing up and walking is the problem.

    This weekend is HOMECOMING! It might be cancelled though due to the weather forecast. I was going to go home - I was planning on it this morning, but now I'm feeling better, and I think home is just going to be a bad idea for me. Hopefully we get drunk all weekend like the plan remains. There's a football game on saturday that I am excited about. I'm more excited for the pregaming though.

    *there's also a little bit of dissapointing news about the Sisters of the Holy Family of Nazareth. They did not house anyone during the Holocaust. They were killed for praying. Being killed for praying is still a very big thing, but I really thought they housed.



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