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`·.¸¸.·°*¤ llvll꣡§så ¤*°·.¸¸.·´ (chyna_d0ll) wrote,
@ 2003-12-30 00:43:00
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    i dont feel like im good enuff for her or something. i think we're too different. like we can get along alright but.. her being so closed with feelings n expressing herself is putting me off. its like shes kinda stiff or something. like she doesnt know how to express herself, and thats kinda pushing me away a little or keeping my feelings at a distance. maybe thats a good thing, i dunno.

    shes going away in a few weeks. does that mean we break up?? it doesnt even feel like we're in a relationship. it just feels like a close friendship with a girl.. being physical of course. *sigh* maybe i should just give up on the whole thing all together. no more girls from now on. or maybe i should wait until she goes away, but then i dunno what i'd say. i dunno if i'd be hurt. i think i will be. i've become emotionally attached to her already.. and when im with her i just wanna be affectionate.. but maybe, just maybe its all just physical. im starting to feel like shes begining to know me.. really get to know me inside. i've told her a lot about me and past experiences so we've been personal. maybe its just dragging on but then on her side maybe its not. im not sure its as good as she says it is for her.. coz i know im making it sound like im happier and satisfied than what i really am. argh i just dunno..


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