| Current mood: |  gloomy |
rolls over in bed and spots the two small, sleeping forms in the bed next to me. slips out of bed and pads over, pulling my too-small-shirt down to try and cover my cold stomach. shivers a little and pulls the blankets up higher on the girls. kisses each of their foreheads and slips down the hall into the bathroom. pours myself a glass of grimey water and carries it carefully back to bed. starts turning to the door again when i hear a creak down the hall. scrambles quickly into bed and pulls the covers up to my chin, trying to look asleep. sees the door open, a yellow rectangle of light, with his shadow in the middle. tries to bury myself deeper into the covers as he closes the door behind him. a moment later, one of his hands is on my mouth while he-
*jolts awake, a thin sheen of sweat on my forehead, eyes wide and breathing heavily. looks around the room quickly, relaxing when i see where i am and feel willa in my arms. looks to her to see if i woke her and kisses her forehead gently. hears lily crying and slips out of bed carefully, checking to make sure willa's still asleep. scoops lily up and carries her out of the room, rubbing her back gently* shhhh angel...daddy's here *takes her to her room and lays her down, checking her diaper then grabbing a clean one. starts changing her and kisses her forehead* my beautiful girl...*looks down at her sadly* why you? why angel? *sighs and trails my fingers down her tummy, making her giggle* we love you lily, no matter what, ok? we love you to pieces *kisses her again and fastens her diaper, picking her up gently and heading back to my bedroom* sleep darling. i have to get back in bed with mommy or she'll kick my bum *rocks her gently on the way, starting to hum then stopping when i realize there's no point. lays her down carefully in the bassinet and watches her sleep for a moment then slips back into bed and watches willa. murmurs softly* she's as beautiful as you are..*kisses willa's forehead lightly and, wrapping my arms around her, closes my eyes again*
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