| Current mood: |  cold |
| Current music: | phones ringing |
destroyer
Sometimes we make mistakes and some of them are bigger than others. For some reason I make a point of destroying the object of my affection. Tearing it to shreds and thinking it’s ok….that’s not true, I don’t think it’s ok and I know what I’m doing is wrong but I do it anyhow. I don’t trust and I don’t believe. I let my own insecurities and issues get in the way and I use them to fuel the wrath I lay on others. I need serious help.
I don’t deserve to be happy. I can’t make another person happy, so why should I expect it from anyone else? My heart is an empty shell and I fooled myself into thinking I could love. Because I was reckless with myself I have to pay. I have to pay for thinking I could find happiness. I’m like a little kid who wanted a puppy and complained and threw a fit until I got one, then because I’m a brat I neglect it and let it starve to death. I see what I’m doing but don’t care, then I feel bad inside but have destroyed it so I can’t reverse the damage.
I’m destined to be alone and never have anyone love me. It’s probably for the best seeing as how I will just end up making that person hate my guts and never want to talk to me again. Plus there is the whole business of me being completely repulsive to the male species. No matter what I do I can’t get a man to love me or even be attracted to me,….let alone a man I really want.
I hope I die soon, this everlasting pain is really too much.
(Read comments)
|
