Blondie (cherrypie69) wrote, @ 2003-08-01 22:24:00

Current mood:	depressed
Current music:	the little girl..john michael montgomery

im sick of everythang..
welp i got grounded for a reallyyy long time cuz me & court got caught sneakin out or whatever but i mean ive gotten in soo much trouble this year & i aint gonna be able 2 do anythang for a while...like im sneakin on here now. & then my parents dont trust me @ all cuz of welp dif. thangs. but ive screwed up soo freakin bad..like i just feel numb most of the time. either i care too much bout thangs & i just start cryin & i like have some kinda breakdown or i just dont feel anythang. its really hard to explain but i just need somebody to talk 2.. i mean i used to have the PERFECT person that i could talk to bout ANYTHANG. but now hes gone too & i miss him more than anythang in the world. i wish i could just have thangs back to how they used 2 be..everythang used to be perfect. i know im leavin a lot out or whatever but i just dont wanna let EVERYTHANG out..but i really need somebody to talk to bout all of this shit..like i just wanna be happy again like thangs used to be. & theres this certain person that always told me that they would always care bout me & they would always love me but im scared they dont even care anymore & all i want is for that person to still care.. i mean everythangs just screwed up & i just wanna feel better bout thangs..but i cant. i just wanna start over..ive really been thinkin bout what me & chris was talkin bout a couple nights ago. just starting over with everythang & everybody. i really want another chance at some thangs & i really wish i could take some thangs back but none of that can happen now...i wish there was like some kinda button u could push to take thangs back but there aint & im screwed now. i know some of this sounds reallyyy stupid but i dont even care anymore. i mean i just dont even wanna be here half the time..thangs have just gotten sooo bad the past couple of months..i mean yea i still have my friends but thats it. maybe im askin for too much, i dont know. but im just never happy anymore & nothin can satisfy me anymore. i swear i just wish i could start over & change a lotta thangs. but i cant & i mean i guess im luckier than some people but it sure dont feel like it..im just sick of everythang.
-erin

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