| Current mood: |  rejuvenated |
| Current music: | I don't wanna be-Gavin Degraw |
I will survive
I did it. I am done with nursing school. One last leap ahead of me is my state boards. I can't even believe it's all over. It felt like it took so long, but then it didn't seem like it was time for me to stop yet. Does that make sense? I kicked the ass of the exams and ended up doing well in my last two classes. I really liked psych, and management taught me a lot about how to prioritize and stuff.
Having this last month off has been somewhat therapeutic. I quit my job in the beginning of July. Two days before I left my boss that I wasn't entirely fond of quit. The whole place is in an uproar basically b/c nobody saw it coming. I was glad that I left when I did. Because scheduling became a mess b/c they gave it to someone who wasn't qualified to handle it. Two people passed away since I left. And another person that I had worked with got fired. She did need to get out of there b/c she didn't take good care of the residents, but I feel bad that she got fired. Kinda.......does that make sense?
I miss the residents at work like crazy so I've been in to visit a few times, but it's wierd going back kinda. I don't know how to explain, it just is. I still feel like I work there b/c of all the stuff people still tell me and how connected I am to the residents. But I'm so glad that I don't b/c of the stuff people tell me and how connected I am to the residents. Especially since two of them died and that would have been really hard to take if I had still been there. Shoot it's hard to take not being there.
I've decided to get a dog. I saw an add for a yellow lab that was 1 yr. old and already trained. I get to pick her up on thursday. I'm excited, but a little nervous. I'm so happy that she's trained and spayed and all of that already but nervous about how she'll adjust to me instead of the family she had been living with. My dad said to me that he didn't want a second dog if this didn't work out. So it was just a little pressure on me. Nevermind the fact that he and mom had been bugging me to do this for a month now. So I will write and let you know how it goes. Her name is Ellie. Hehe. She's so cute. I can't wait.
I had to say goodbye to Hughes. She is so brave for moving to California I can't even believe it. I wish her the best of luck out there and I know she will do fantasticly. She is just so brave. I can't get over it. Our last night with her was fun...abusing my target discount for Harry Potter Fizzling Whizbees.....aka pop-rocks. And of course drinks with the girls. All 4 of us. It was great. Reminiscing, dreaming about the future.......and somehow knowing that the present was going by too fast.
When did it happen that we all grew up? I have to be a real adult in a week by starting my job. And after doing so well in my last class I'm not quite as terrified, but still very apprehensive about this. I had a peptalk from one of my instructors who was like.....You are so ready for this. I know you don't feel like it now, but trust me in 6 months you are going to feel it. Man I hope so.
I have thirteen thousand weddings to go to in the near future. Well, ok just 3 but it feels like a lot more. And for the first time I'm not feeling too bad about it. Two of the wedding are friends from my nursing class and I know it's going to just be a fun girls night for me and my study buddies. And the other one I think Steve is going to be my date to and I can't wait to go and make snooty comments about it. Hehe.....I don't feel too alone right now. I don't feel pathetic. Maybe I've gotten so comfortable with myself now that I don't feel bad being single. I love it. I love being able to go out with my girls whenever I want. To go buy new toys without having to worry about what someone might say. Or to stay at home and just read a book without being bugged by anyone. It's great for now.
Everyone keeps telling me how I'm starting a new chapter in my life. I really don't like the way that sounds. Yes I'm closing the door to my educational career for now but can't I go back? Maybe they should say that I'm turning the page in my choose my own adventure book. That sounds better don't you think? Because I refuse to stop learning just b/c I'm not in school anymore. And also I don't want to close that chapter.......the one where I can go out and have fun with my friends and be silly and get drunk. I don't want to close that chapter. I refuse.
My dad is becoming a daredevil, in his own way. He went on his power parachute ride. That's right, my 52 year old father went parachuting. I, of course was standing by in case of calamity, but he had so much fun. I'm so glad that he's finally getting out and doing things for himself. I'm so proud of him. Yet he still let's my mother get him down. I guess some things won't ever change. At least some things are starting to.
I am in Iowa right now at Ryan and Kara's. Today I got to spend the whole day doing what I wanted to. I read a book for fun, a whole book, and went to the mall. And I had lunch out by myself. I never do that. But it felt really good to just go and sit there and eat and not worry about what people were thinking but just to enjoy my day. And I did.
And since I can't think of anything else of consequence to say for now I shall tell you all the most important thing.......I GRADUATED! I'M A REAL NURSE NOW. WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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