| Current mood: |  crushed |
I hate you. I swear I do.
Lately much has been depressing. I don't know what's going on. How am I supposed to feel? Jealous? Probably not. Then why am I? Rawr. I'm so dumb. It frustrates me so much. I just want to scream. I can't wait for the summer to be here. Just so I won't have to deal with all of school and crap and. Blah. I don't know what's happening. One minute I feel one way. The next I feel entirely different. Do I want you? Do I hate you? Do you hate me? Do you even notice my existence. Probably not. You once did. Now you're too fucking busy ruining your own life to care about anyone else's. Damn you. I hate you so much. ::draws name on paper.. Scribbles it out violently:: How long can I go on doing this. How long can I pretend like it doesn't matter. That all I have to do is scribble on a piece of paper and everything will be okay. Well you know what. It'll never be okay. It can never be okay. You don't want it to be. You're too self-absorbed. Too busy caring about yourself. You're too fucking busy putting an end to your own life. Well good. I hope you fucking kill yourself one of these days. Then you'll be sorry. But it will be too fucking late won't it. You won't be able to realize what you did. Or change it for that matter. You won't be able to regret a damned thing. Because it will all be gone. You will lose all you've ever had. Over a stupid mistake. I've been warning you. Trying to help. But you just don't listen. I did care. Once. But I'm not so sure if I do anymore. Do you realize that I don't give a fuck? Does it even matter to you? Maybe you should have just listened to me in the first place. But then again, who am I to say what is right and what is wrong? Who I am to say what should and shouldn't be done. Who am I? Seriously. I don't think that you know me. And you won't ever know me. Because you don't want to. You will never know the real me. I'm so sick and tired of trying to be fake for you. Trying to impress you. Trying to always be there. Trying to care. Trying to be someone that I'm not. I'm through with it. Find someone else to care. Do you even realize that I cared? Does it even matter to you that you were my sole purpose of living. That I breathed for you. That I lived through your happiness. It's over. I'm over. We're over. It's done. Take it somewhere else. Go fuck some stupid ass bitch. Get the fucking bitch pregnant. And then have to pay child support, you stupid bastard. Only you deserve something that terrible and harsh. I hate you so much that words can not even describe how I feel when I think about you. Just go off and die mother fucker. I never loved you anyways.
(Read comments)
|
