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quyendowlyn (californianlilo) wrote,
@ 2004-09-17 22:02:00
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    Current mood:fed up!
    Current music:yellowcard~ rough draft

    still waiting... i think im finally ready to talk about school;about 2 weeks ago i recieved a fone call from my counselor telling me that im short 6 units to transfer; the mistake was due to an ap test i thought i had passed and regrettably learned that i didnt; i was misinformed and tried to explain this to them but im sure uci just took it as i was lying to get in; my mistake for not knowing for a fact that i didnt pass in the first place; so anyways after that this month has just been hell; and ive been trying to contact the asst director for the past week and i finally got a hold of her today; after more stress and aggravation she finally called me back and told me theyll admit in the fall but that i have to call my academic counselor; so i did twice and guess who hasnt called me back; its so frustrating; i dont know how the hell they even call it a functioning school nonetheless one of the top 20 across the nation; but thats just me venting; yeah i dont know if i want to take their extension courses and be admitted in january; i will do that if they let me dorm while im taking those courses; if not, im going to take this semester off and finish up at rcc next semester and during this time im going to apply to other schools for admission in fall 2005; im so sad about my roommate though; shes like totally disappointed and so am i; if i decide to go there i would defly want to dorm with her again..well not like we really had a first but still; imma miss her....
    he signed on for a quick second and i felt my heart beat increase dramatically; then he signed off just as quick and just as well too; im sure he doesnt want to talk to me anyways; why? i dont know but its weird how good i am at bad feelings lately; its like if i have a bad feeling about what could happen it does; but anyways i guess its getting easier to accept that we are no longer what we once were; gawd i miss just talking to him; i look at all the yapoo emoticons and its just so saddening; i really miss him and i h8 the fact that i know exactly why....
    soooo i saved the good news for last! haha didnt think there would be any did ya? i didnt either....its the ONLY good thing that this month has truly brought me and hasnt taken away from me but i highly doubt even my bad luck could screw this up for me; today wanda officially asked me to be her maid of honor cause she was officially proposed to! im soooooooooooooo stoked...ive never been one before...i even started looking at wedding gifts stuff but im not sure what i like; or the wedding colors or anything like that; im just excited; it gives me something positive to focus on for once; its going to be so much fun...
    things are getting better between me and tuan; were still trying out the friends thing and its getting a lot better since he stopped making me feel guilty for breaking up with him; we actually sounded normal today and i enjoyed talking to him; hes coming back out here in oct and i am excited to see him; and i know im excited for the right reasons; im not anticipating his arrival because i feel alone or sad or anything, i just missed him; despite everything, he does have really good characteristics too and it doesnt hurt that hes the hottest viet guy ive ever laid eyes on; mmmmm!
    some other thoughts for tonight....
    a. no more internet boys for quyen
    b. no more oc boys for quyen
    c.not only do i feel like im not good enough for uci, i also feel like im not pretty enough for oc; does that make sense to anyone else?
    d.still have faith even though i prayed today and it didnt work out the way i hoped it would... more republicans for quyen (sorry momma, just havent had any luck with them)
    f. its time for a vacation! sick and tired of waiting and being disappointed and im sick and tired of all this bad stuff that keeps coming my way; i believe in karma but wtf did i do to deserve all this! grrrrr
    h. its times like these that make me greatful for the friends that have stuck around...thnx everyone!
    i. i know one day i will smile like i used to..until then, ciao

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