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Jessica (cage_of_mind) wrote,
@ 2003-04-17 19:28:00
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    Current mood: flirty
    Current music:bewitched

    A LONG TIME
    Wow its been a long time since i have writen in here. I have wanted to, but i just couldnt. A lot has been going on this week... So I guess i will just start with today, and then go back....

    Today i got up, went to school, lol forgot that ali wasnt comming so sat at her class for a bit... then finally relised and went to class, but there was some guy in my seat so i sat in the one next to it. Then the bell rang and i worked with my group a bit on our project, and afterwards sat with Pedro and listened to music and watched Anime. Tomorrow is going to be a free day... aka beat the bunny day lol. Yeah i dont think i will be doing any of that :P... Then i went to second where we watched a REALLY boring movie, so i layed on the floor and went to sleep. Then tech came... eck, there was a mouse head with its guts and tail right next to our class room. I kind of felt bad for it because i wouldnt want to have died like that for one, then be despaid for people to go ewwwww... so tiffany and I got some plastic spoons and forks and a empty bag of chips and we picked up the stuff and threw it away. lol i couldnt do the head cause it was all heavy and its eyes were like there, so yeah she did that and i got the tail... then the guts we both went at... damn that sounds discusting. I wasnt so grossed out at the fact of the mouse... just the fact that it could have any kind of desease, and well if you know me then you know im a hypercodriact... so yeah that scared me a bit... so when i got home i took a nice shower lol. then i fell asleep and now i am here writing...

    Now for things that have passed:.... well One of my friends has been having really bad misfortune... His grandpa and grandma died... on opposite sides of the family. So it has been really tough for him. I try my best to be there and listen, and he knows that. But he has things he needs to struggle with so i cant push him. I do feel bad for what is happening... things that like shouldnt happen to anyone... it has even happened to me... I see death now as just a part of life. For the longest time i was afraid of death... it went in sections... first i was afraid of me dying, so i didnt want to do anything at all that could threated me... which made PE really hard... then i was afraid of my mom or tom dying... so i kinda freaked out with that... then when i met chris i was afraid of him dying, so i kinda went over board with that. death just isnt fun...

    I have also met someone, kinda... i mean im not with him yet but yeah hehe. He is in my first class and he is really sweet and nice. I try to flirt and all but i dont know if im doing a good job or not... i wish i could just know if he liked me. i sometimes thinks he does, but then i get into my, ewww why would anyone like me.... so yeah that makes it hard. but he puts a smile on my face whenever i see him, and now even when i dont. So yeah :).... anyway i made this deal with myself that if in the next three days that we see eachother he doesnt make a move then im going to... well yeah i can't wait that long, so tomorrow i am going to ask robert... a friend of his if he likes me. i want to do it that way because if he doesnt, then i dont want him to become distant to me and all. So if robert is like no he doesnt then i will just drop it... but if robert says yes then im going to go Pedro, i really like you and yeah lol... I hope he comes tomorrow, i really want to get this out... plus we have to talk about when and where and how we are going to film our commercial. but yeah i just want him to come... so i can laugh and all that great stuff. he is really great... :):):):):):)

    So yeah that is my life right now. it is kinda hectic because of my dad and college and with ali and bobby. Its weird because just a few days ago i really felt like i was going to loose it... but now i cant get him out of my head so things feel like they are comming back and im gaining control.

    Well im going to go because i have to eat soon. lol hopefully i will write again tomorrow and it will be good news :)
    Jes



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